Where's your Mummy?

"Where's your Mummy?"

These three words are one of the biggest annoyances for me as a Single Dad; it doesn't matter where I go with the two boys because it seems that I always hear these three words.

It is difficult for me because in some situations I can shrug it off but in others I can't.

I truly believe that children benefit greatly by having a range of adult role models in their life and subsequently we see lots of different structures of families and styles of parenting.

So why is the world centred on Mummies being the core care provider?

I recently experienced a situation that made me see the value of not asking this question and not to look at generalised stereotypical set up for families:

Whilst my youngest was in hospital after having an Asthma Attack I was unable to fully get hold of his Mum to be there so went I went the distance by myself.  (Follow the link above to see why)

Two nurses asked me the above question; the first nurse in, what I felt, a harsh way: "Dad what are you doing here, where's his Mum?"

The second was a little better; "Where's your Mummy James? We don't usually get many Dads’ by themselves"

In both cases I was cross. And I hope you can see why.

Being a Single, Stay at home, Dad is hard enough at times especially without being questioned to why you are next to your 3 year old sons’ hospital bed.

(Who wouldn’t want to be there looking after their child? I know if I could have reached his Mum she would have rushed there; I wouldn’t have left though)

I never hear Mums being questioned where Daddy is.

(Unless I just don't see that part from where I am)

But, sadly, I'm used to it but whilst sitting there I was thinking about how inappropriate that question is. There are many single Dads’ out there coping with parenthood by themselves due to bereavement.

How upsetting would it be to the child, as well as the adult, to ask that question? A friend of mine actually went through this and he would tell me of many situations where he coped with two grieving young children who had just been asked this question.

I am lucky that the Boys can find a confident answer to where there mummy is; neither I nor they should have to though.

Seeing any Parent or Guardian, with children should be seen as a happy blessing not for someone to question. 

Just think before you speak.

Mums or Dad's, or even Guardians, do you get asked these stupid questions?