The older I am getting the more my brain is starting to
finally give in. I don't know if it's a common parenting thing or just
something that happens when you get a older. (Not that I am really that old)
My brain is starting to function so much more on Automatic
mode.
I don't think that I'm alone here.
One of the best things about blogging is the fact that you
network with other parent bloggers. I am not a normal guy; I don’t have many
male friends. Yet since I started my parenting aspect to this blog I have met
and made many Dad friends. (As well as Mums)
One Dad like Dustin; Where I have found they are very much
like me. Our Blogs are very similar and our USP as a blogger is the same so it
has helped massively connecting. Dustin, like me, is a Stay at Home Dad but
through reading his blog and chatting to him something popped up in my mind.
Automatic Parenting.
There are moments with work where I drive between different
locations; Quite often I turn down a road and when I do I realise that the last
15 minutes seem to be a bit of a blank. Somewhere in between I have just
started driving automatically.
Does anyone else do this?
There must be part of me that is fully conscious as I have
never had an accident but I think that through the repetitive route I have
signalled and stopped and functioned automatically.
Being a Stay at Home Dad is very much like this for me.
I am notorious for having late nights or not sleeping very
well. So when 6am comes round and I am kindly awoken by the boys you will find
me waking up like a Zombie and barely functioning.
Like with my driving, without any major dramas, I seem to
function.
I put this down to my routine:
6.00 am – Get the kids down stairs
6.15 to 6.30 am – Sort and feed the boys
6.30am – Make my first Coffee
6.40 to 6.50am – Wash the Boys faces and get them to brush
their teeth.
6.50 to 7.15am – Try and find an appropriate Outfit for them
both without them looking silly.
7.15 to 7.45am – Begin the “fight” (Where you get one dressed
and start the other, yet whilst doing this, the first has lost or got undressed
somehow)
7.45am – Make my second Coffee.
7.50 to 8.15am – This time is used to play a great game called
‘Find the missing Shoe or Coat’
8.15 to 8.30am – Daddy time; Time for Teeth and Hair Etc.
8.30 to 8.40am – The infamous ‘Getting in our car seats’
battle.
8.40 to 9.20am – Take James to Nursery and then return home.
9.20 to 9.30am – Make my third cup of Coffee.
9.30am – Start Home School.
Then it hits…..
When did I wake up? Where’s James? Who dressed and fed the
boys?
A few points to just pick up:
Yes, I do usually have maximum of 3 cups of Coffee by 9.30.
Yes, I might be able to get myself dressed but there are
days where I realise that my clothes are inside out or backwards.
I may joke about it but it’s also something that happens
from time to time.
I do love a routine but there are, honestly, days where it
gets to about 9.30 and I think “What on earth have I actually done this Morning!”
I am told that this is normal for any Stay at Home Parents.
I often see many functioning Stay at Home Mums and am
impressed how you do it all and look great; I have always just assumed that
this was a me thing. Well I did, at least, until I started speaking to bloggers
like Dustin.
Would love to hear from other Stay at Home Parents; Is this
a normal thing to happen when you have kids?
Do you ever find yourself in the middle of something and
think “Why am I doing this, What was I doing before?”
Or Is this a Dad thing?
Not that an I can comment as a SAHD, but I think it's just normal for any parent. When I have my daughter on the weekends I have many of the same thoughts and that's just for one girl can't imagine two! Your doing good Martyn, keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteThank you Gary. You might not be able to comment as a SAHD but it helps to know that I'm not alone in this. The question still stands though if this is a Dad thing or a general parent thing?
DeleteI am hoping it's a general parent thing.
For some reason it doesn't make too much difference having two....maybe only just the fact that I do the 'trying to leave the house battle' as it's harder with 2 at times.
Yeah I think we all do things on auto pilot from time to time, I often find myself at the school gate thinking I can't really recall getting off the bus. But then I often sit at work and realise half the day is gone and I can't really recall doing the work (although I have), I hope it is auto pilot and not the aliens again though :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting Ashley. Glad it's not only me in both work and being a Dad. Let's hope it is auto pilot otherwise it might be slightly worrying.lol
DeleteAutopilot is a good thing; between my scatterbrainyness and changing times depending on the day, I haven't managed to get routines really set. I applaud you.
ReplyDeleteI have all those things too and is why I have to stick to a routine. Otherwise I wouldn't function full stop.
DeleteThank you for commenting. Glad you think autopilot is a good thing!!
Good God do you get up at 6am? We've put the clocks back 15 minutes so the kids now get up at 7:45am rather than 7:30! And that still feels too early!
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting Jaime.
DeleteHa do you think that's why I'm a walking zombie? I tried a later bedtime or even a later start date. 6 am on the dot boys are awake!! Doesn't help that some nights I don't get to bed until 1am! :-/
I get up at 7am and I am like a zombie....I don't think I could manage 6am! We play that "find the missing whatever" around the same time....lol I usually on my third cup of coffee by about half nine too and often find my clothes on inside out...
ReplyDeleteIt really isn't just a dad thing! I find myself on auto pilot all the time....
Yay!! Thanks Kim! Phew....was starting to think it was a Dad thing.
DeleteI'm so pleased that you play the find the missing thing!! I hate that game and that part of the day. I'm sure it's the third coffee that wakes me up fully! As for the 6 am. They have to get up that early at their mums when they're there so it's always programmed into them. I should go to bed earlier really.
I've often thought there were similarities between you and Dustin too. Glad you've found friends in blogging.
ReplyDeleteThanks Al. Made a quite a few friends blogging. Strange in some ways to find a lot of similarities. Obviously I'm better looking so that's the main thing ;-)
DeleteI'm so with you on this Martyn! I have been on 'automatic dad mode' for a very long time.. I don't think it gets any easier either lol!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Dustin. I don't think it does either! I'm hoping the older they get it'll get easier. But only time will tell!
DeleteDefinitely think its a parent thing! I get to 3pm and can't remember what I've done in the morning, most day I have to hope i showered!! X
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting Laura!
DeleteLol I'm so glad I did this post! Some days I've been questioning my sanity but be the looks of it I'm definitely not alone!!
Oh totally! It's the sleep deprivation that does it to me! I find myself with a spoonful of food in my hand and have to really stop and think about whether it needs to be fed to me, Libby, Lia, the dog or the cat!x
ReplyDeleteHaha Natalie! I did that the other day....I stopped in the middle of the hallway with half a glass of squash. I looked down didn't know if I was coming out a room or going into one and who the drink was for or if it was finished with!! The boys gave me such a worrying look! Lol. I'm sure sleep deprivation doesn't help. Thanks as always for commenting ☺
DeleteI'm permantly in automatic mode, i normally find myself wondering where the day went at 7pm!
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting Sophie! Lol I haven't done that since the boys were little. Think nowadays, depending on coffee, that u only ever get to lunchtime.
DeleteNot just a Dad thing. I find I'm on auto mode a lot of the time too. I do think it has a fair amount to do with lack of sleep. Even of all the kids are in their beds and asleep at a normal time. I'm just a night owl and can't help it-but suffer for it the next day. I quite often get to 2pm and wonder what on earth I've been faffing about doing all day! So normal I'd say-or we're both abnormal lol!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Amy!
DeleteI'm glad I've done this post. It's put my mind at rest that it's just not a dad thing and made me feel more normal. Although as you said maybe we're all abnormal.lol