This time of year I am always trying to do something for
someone else. I find that Christmas can be quite commercial and within that we
lose the community and loving aspect that it brings.
In all walks of life there is always something negative
going on; it could be between families, friends and communities or even to
complete strangers. I do believe in an altruistic giving with the phrase “Peace
on Earth and good will to all men” at the centre of it and I know many share
that mind-set at this time of year but I do believe it is more than seasonal; even
if that is a high expectation on life and humanity at times!
I know that I may appear to be a “grumpy old man” at times
but I do think that the people who know me well know that I always have
kindness in my mind when I do things.
Kindness, for me, is at the route of true giving; something
that needs to be clearly distinguished between pity.
I know many people look at different scenarios, especially
this time of year, and see that others are suffering and do so to help them; something
that I think is a mix between kindness and pity.
Then there are other moments when people go above and beyond
what they need to do to help which has nothing to do with pity and everything
to do with kindness.
This year, in many ways, has been quite rough. I don’t list
the following for any other reason but to clarify why it has.
I have had benefits muddled up, a “friend” who was a “carer”
change which had financial consequences, attended and collected from food
banks, claimed emergency funding, had my wheelchair break, had to look after my
father who has had, recovered and then diagnosed again with a different types
of cancer and, finally, had to deal with both online and offline community
problems. The year, at times, has been quite tough and yet I have seen selfless
love and kindness over and over again.
I am not going to directly name the people involved but I
have had some true acts of kindness that I am extremely grateful for.
I read last year a wonderful post from Donna that said you don’t need a tribe or a pod but hit upon the fact that we all need friends. I wouldn’t
say, despite to many who might wonder, that I have a group, tribe or pod but I
would say that I do have friends. They may not all interact with each other but
there are definitely different people who, within blogging, that I class as
friends.
Not long ago, Natalie wrote a post about the loneliness of the mainland and that no man is an island but the mainland can be pretty lonely too.
This, not only a fantastic and real post, hit a nerve. I don’t tend to speak
about what I am going through because I don’t really want to be the grumpy old man
character and definitely don’t want to be always seen as moaning but that does
leave you quite isolated.
I equally don’t and have never wanted pity. Yet, I think
sometimes the difference between kindness and pity is how the person receiving the
kindness sees it. I haven’t mentioned what I have been going through because I don’t
want an outpouring of pity but when kindness is met I have had to accept it as
such and know that people haven’t pitied me.
So, when all of the above has happened and without
discussing these things people have time and time again stepped forward and
shown me kindness. Not pity because they are seeing someone struggle but
kindness because they too have known the struggle in places or want to help
someone they care about but who, in reality of things, is a complete stranger to
them.
They haven’t done so because they want massive thanks and self-gratitude
or because of pity but pure kindness and good will.
Within these last 12 months I have received 2 food parcels,
a Tesco’s voucher, seen the kindness of a community stand up for me, despite
what has been said still found the time to come and find me or chat to me if we
have randomly bumped into each other, had help and support with posts that I
have written and even been bought a brand new wheelchair.
I don’t think words could ever express how much all of this
has meant to me. I can’t really repay many of you but I know you didn’t expect
me to when you helped but I am truly thankful.
No man is an island and you definitely don’t need a tribe or
a pod but I am grateful that I have friends that care, friends that make the
mainland less lonely and don’t pity but show the true acts of kindness.
This year I have learnt that kindness and good will to all
men isn’t just something that happens at Christmas but happens all year round.
I love this post and the fact you have been shown such kindness. So many of us go through rough times whether we open up about it or not and it is lovely when someone is genuinely kind. I have definitely seen a lot myself this year and it has restored my faith in humanity a bit. I had got to a point where I felt people had become way too selfish and kindness was disappearing and this post has reminded me there are still some genuine lovely people around.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, it is lovely to hear that you have experienced kindness this year, if people can be kind in the face of a total grumpy git then they must be pretty amazing.
ReplyDeleteNat.x
Cor, where do you find these kind people eh? I seem to be surrounded by grumpy sods! Love this post though, always nice to know there are people out there who have your back!
ReplyDeleteI hope more read this and give acts of kindness too - you deserve all this and more. Merry Christmas Martyn x
ReplyDelete