tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post4694165992735721503..comments2024-01-01T23:50:46.656+00:00Comments on Inside Martyn's Thoughts: But Daddy.......Martyn Kitney http://www.blogger.com/profile/07564829931381366013noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-29492561459103689462015-01-30T23:29:09.893+00:002015-01-30T23:29:09.893+00:00Thanks for commenting Therese! Ah no! Well you hav...Thanks for commenting Therese! Ah no! Well you have my complete empathy and sympathy!! Mine are a year older than yours....and I'm only starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel with my eldest. 2 more years of this maybe with the youngest. :-/ mini teenagers the lot of them!Martyn Kitney https://www.blogger.com/profile/07564829931381366013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-88464916323638423952015-01-30T23:16:11.616+00:002015-01-30T23:16:11.616+00:00Very good post. :)
We are currently got two very v...Very good post. :)<br />We are currently got two very very strong little people in the household, one is 4 going on 14 and the other one is 2 going on 4...haha<br /><br />#brilliantblogpostsERFmamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11242837329745476223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-62553422346696395212015-01-23T15:14:52.146+00:002015-01-23T15:14:52.146+00:00Thanks for commenting. It's really difficult n...Thanks for commenting. It's really difficult not to jump in and argue back. It really proves nothing and can often make the situation worse, or at least make your child feel worse. The fact that you're trying is the main thing. It will make such a difference.<br />They need to know that their 'argument' is valid but that doesn't always mean that it's the right path to take. So hearing and listening is such a key thing. I wish and aim to do this more.<br /><br />No problem will link up more to #brilliantblogposts Martyn Kitney https://www.blogger.com/profile/07564829931381366013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-73298862981224753162015-01-23T15:03:07.256+00:002015-01-23T15:03:07.256+00:00You're spot on with your approach I reckon, ki...You're spot on with your approach I reckon, kids need boundaries but shouting when they are, proves nothing (I really am trying not to shout as much here)-love that you want to listen to his point of view, it's so important kids are heard and listened to. Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogpostsHonest Mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17065603905623813070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-11875710568035422922015-01-22T21:28:16.321+00:002015-01-22T21:28:16.321+00:00I think they all have these little 'bad' h...I think they all have these little 'bad' habits. The selective hearing is very frustrating. It all depends on the mood I'm in on how I handle it. I can snap quicker but I try to talk first. My eldest Is almost 6. He's nearly completely out of the arguing stage. So am hoping it won't last long, for either of us.<br /><br />Thanks for commenting emmaMartyn Kitney https://www.blogger.com/profile/07564829931381366013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-45802233870016184852015-01-22T21:08:57.391+00:002015-01-22T21:08:57.391+00:00Mine's just turned 4 and luckily on the whole ...Mine's just turned 4 and luckily on the whole he's not too argumentative. I do get really exasperated with his selective hearing though - he gets it from his dad, then I end up shouting because neither of them listen. Drives me insane, but it's a real challenge to stay calm and let things go.Emma Thttp://bubbablueandme.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-54691682501519543792015-01-22T18:41:48.848+00:002015-01-22T18:41:48.848+00:00Thanks for commenting Pixiedusk.
I try that appro...Thanks for commenting Pixiedusk. <br />I try that approach too. I think at the moment it works less than what it should. But the fact that your son is complaining less at four brings me hope. When you do know for sure pop back and let me know. Will help give me the patience to carry on with it. Or not if that's the case.Martyn Kitney https://www.blogger.com/profile/07564829931381366013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-21889699282049581502015-01-22T18:33:01.355+00:002015-01-22T18:33:01.355+00:00My son is 4 and I have many of those 'but mom!...My son is 4 and I have many of those 'but mom!' moments. I try not to rush and get mad right up but talk to him about it. Sometimes my son listens a lot of times he doesn't. Slowly tho we are having less complaining. I dont know if thats because he is getting older or the talking works. I need to know for sure. #BrillBlogPostsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-70870818132899594322015-01-22T10:15:07.358+00:002015-01-22T10:15:07.358+00:00Thanks for commenting Paul! It's a very diffic...Thanks for commenting Paul! It's a very difficult stage to be going through. The fact that you can make your wife the bad cop is a hood thing. Although I'm sure there will be moments that you will have to too. Good luck. Let me know how you get on with it and if you have any tips.Martyn Kitney https://www.blogger.com/profile/07564829931381366013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-24696531566016033412015-01-22T09:25:51.607+00:002015-01-22T09:25:51.607+00:00I have all of this ahead of me with my 8 month old...I have all of this ahead of me with my 8 month old, dreading it as I`m too soft with my daughter already, my wife will need to be the tough cop..Paulhttp://www.funkydaddy.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-462238880836938742015-01-12T14:25:24.412+00:002015-01-12T14:25:24.412+00:00I didn't think we were allowed to publicise th...I didn't think we were allowed to publicise that we still did that?? ;-)Martyn Kitney https://www.blogger.com/profile/07564829931381366013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-62550489306672559042015-01-12T12:29:05.576+00:002015-01-12T12:29:05.576+00:00Send them to the chokey .... Send them to the chokey .... Ally Messed Up Mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17339676305095086934noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-35071282213591336342015-01-07T13:16:39.954+00:002015-01-07T13:16:39.954+00:00Ha!! I wish I could...I'd much rather enjoy th...Ha!! I wish I could...I'd much rather enjoy the fact that they're doing it rather than getting stressed about it. Some days, especially with James, 3, by about midday my eyes start getting tired and sore from it all. It takes a lot for me to hold it in lol. So your way might not be the way it should be but at least it's a nice way.Martyn Kitney https://www.blogger.com/profile/07564829931381366013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-38264257831658801252015-01-07T13:07:51.913+00:002015-01-07T13:07:51.913+00:00I find it hard to keep a straightface when arguing...I find it hard to keep a straightface when arguing with my son who is nearly three. He is developing some solid logic and quite cutting put downs - I want give him a high five a lot of the time. This really isn't the way it should be. Dan DBTHhttp://www.dontbelievethehype.biznoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-33706784185384175752015-01-07T12:57:47.329+00:002015-01-07T12:57:47.329+00:00Thanks Gary! I find it difficult being a single da...Thanks Gary! I find it difficult being a single dad because my youngest is so much like his mum especially when he argues! Facial expressions the lot. I think that's why I struggle more with him. But ,like you, my eldest is like me....same wittiness, humour and logic. Even now at 5 (almost 6) he puts across a good negotiation that I have trouble disagreeing with.....I think when he actually turns into a teenager I'm more than likely to struggle more with him!Martyn Kitney https://www.blogger.com/profile/07564829931381366013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-36673727218382492462015-01-07T12:49:03.925+00:002015-01-07T12:49:03.925+00:00As a single dad with a seven year old daughter I&#...As a single dad with a seven year old daughter I'm absolutely dreading the days when she gets older. We don't "argue" very much but she has my wittiness and sarcasm so it leads to some awkward moments at times, and as she gets older and learns to harness her words better it's going to be quite the adventure. Good post Martyn alot of food for thought there.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17776933514370907800noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-16215914687897534282015-01-07T08:03:02.796+00:002015-01-07T08:03:02.796+00:00Thanks Natalie. My tolerance is incredibly low at ...Thanks Natalie. My tolerance is incredibly low at times its horrible. I see it as rude too. My youngest argues with my elderly dad, deservedly in fairness, but it is rude and makes me quite cross. I think I'm on top of it now. My eldest doesn't argue anymore and is more of a polite negotiator....which I find lovely.Martyn Kitney https://www.blogger.com/profile/07564829931381366013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-51172054418249091162015-01-07T00:42:07.646+00:002015-01-07T00:42:07.646+00:00Great post. I'm afraid I have a zero tolerance...Great post. I'm afraid I have a zero tolerance approach to this because if Libby argues with me she'll argue with other adults which I see as rude. So tribal of treats tends to ensue if she won't calm down. Harsh but she is a lovely little girl as a result.xPlutonium Soxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02061413795610750961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-17735890079626688282015-01-06T15:38:21.534+00:002015-01-06T15:38:21.534+00:00Thanks Al. It is a fine balance and can take a whi...Thanks Al. It is a fine balance and can take a while to really set into that mindset. Martyn Kitney https://www.blogger.com/profile/07564829931381366013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-18486429146556424082015-01-06T15:03:38.521+00:002015-01-06T15:03:38.521+00:00....expression yet showing authority. Like you, if.......expression yet showing authority. Like you, if I stop and think, 9/10 times it can be avoided. <br />An interesting read Martyn Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16648245797306975373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-36463758877989474552015-01-06T15:02:38.380+00:002015-01-06T15:02:38.380+00:00Sounds to me like you've got the balance just ...Sounds to me like you've got the balance just right there. When my stepson tried to suck me in to arguing I've now learnt to stop, take a step back, think and assess the situation. It's a fine balance between allowing opinion and Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16648245797306975373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-30655622874286837002015-01-06T13:50:27.151+00:002015-01-06T13:50:27.151+00:00Thanks for commenting. It is easily done at this a...Thanks for commenting. It is easily done at this age! I'm constantly reminding myself that I'm the adult and shouldn't venture into arguments with them where they're so young!Martyn Kitney https://www.blogger.com/profile/07564829931381366013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-24771181420105560512015-01-06T13:49:00.171+00:002015-01-06T13:49:00.171+00:00It's good that you have always done it. I, sad...It's good that you have always done it. I, sadly, haven't. For a long time I would argue until I got my own way. It made realise at one point how childish I was acting and changed. My eldest it the negotiator and a very good one at that.....He has fantastic logic that is often difficult to argue anyway. And I point blankly refuse to use the phase "because I said so"<br /><br />My youngest is the one who argues and argues for the sake of it.<br />They are great at making you rethink what you would normally say and adapt to manipulate you as often as possible.<br />I still have a long way to go! But I count to ten and decide if it's worth it. Like you, more often than not, it's not worth it.Martyn Kitney https://www.blogger.com/profile/07564829931381366013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-32944216773852509142015-01-06T11:19:00.562+00:002015-01-06T11:19:00.562+00:00It is a rule we have always had. With my eldest it...It is a rule we have always had. With my eldest it was just the way we coped with life. Neither of us like arguing or bad feeling so it grew organically and worked. My eldest didn't argue a lot but my youngest is a debater, and a very good one! We are both very alike and I love how he challenges things. For me it is about them learning how to argue respectfully. <br /><br />It is so easy to be drawn into arguments. Children are brilliant at manipulating your actions and pulling at your heart strings at the same time. When my youngest starts, I pause and think whether it's worth the fight, more often that not it isn't. Pam Charles, Authothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13961149445347787934noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-711396098826909299.post-10475458275554701002015-01-06T11:09:50.914+00:002015-01-06T11:09:50.914+00:00I argue with my five year old..when I find myself ...I argue with my five year old..when I find myself doing it I reassess the situation.Joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11400886842559011209noreply@blogger.com