Parenting James: Five Months Later and Facing a New Battle

I last wrote about James in May. As expected, it’s taken three weeks into the school term and I’m writing about him again. That’s not surprising considering the last five posts have mostly centred around his school life.

Maddy Time: Avengers Endgame Encore

Spoiler Warning: This post contains plot details from Avengers: Endgame Encore.

Midge and I went to see Avengers: Endgame Encore last week. It promised four minutes of new footage that would link Endgame to Avengers: Doomsday. We were curious. Maddy Time is our thing. We do other activities, but cinema trips are where we mostly connect. This felt like something we had to see, even if it was only for those extra minutes.

Brotherly Love

My brother is three years older than me. Unfortunately, I don’t have many good memories of him growing up. We're completely different people. He hated school. I loved it. He was physical. I wasn’t.

A Rose by Any Other Name

Names carry stories, hold memories, and people that shape us. Growing up, I had many different names. Many that I didn’t value until adulthood.

Maddy Time: Spiderman Brand New Day

Spoiler Warning: This post contains plot details from Spiderman: Brand New Day.

On Friday, Midge and I went to see Spiderman: Brand New Day, and it felt like the perfect way to spend our last bit of time together before she heads to her dad’s. We’re both Marvel fans, and when we do get some Maddy Time, watching movies is our thing. It’s how we connect. So, for me, this film mattered before we even sat down. I get time with my amazing daughter.

Midge Passed Her Driving Test

When your child reaches a milestone, you feel it in a way that sits somewhere between pride, relief, and joy. Last week my amazing daughter, Midge passed her driving test. I knew she would. She was ready long before the certificate arrived, yet hearing her say the words still felt like a moment worth holding.

World FSHD Day: A 2026 Reflection

World FSHD Day has arrived again. Despite posting on Facebook each year, I last wrote about it here in 2018, and looking back now is like opening a time capsule. I knew my condition and feared the future but didn’t understand it yet. I walked, even when it was difficult, constantly fell, experienced pain and vulnerability, and felt trapped in my body. 

My FSHD is different now. I no longer walk. I still fall, but it’s progressed to my core. The pain, vulnerability and trapped feeling have deepened in ways I never imagined. Everything I was worried about has now occurred and I've been living with it for several years. That’s the nature of FSHD. It’s not just degeneration, but progression.

A Positive School Meeting

Two weeks ago I wrote about an incident with a staff member at Arty’s school. A week later, after my complaint, I met with the Head teacher. It wasn’t the best day. Miss L, offered to move the meeting but I wanted it done.

My nerves weren’t just about Arty or what happened that morning. After eighteen months of fighting for James, I knew school meetings can turn against you fast. I’ve watched schools hide mistakes rather than fix them. I’ve seen the system break my child. Those experiences entered this room with me.

This meeting felt different. They had a staff member take notes because I cannot. That alone was a small victory after everything that happened with James’ school.

Parenting James: Learning Again, Living With Trauma, and What the Diagnosis Really Means

James has been with his new tutor for three weeks. We didn’t know how it would go. He spent the weekend before the first session begging me to cancel it. His anxiety was through the roof. He didn’t want to go back to anything that looked or sounded like school.

We didn’t cancel. We adjusted. We started at 10am instead of 9.30am so he had space to breathe. That shift made the difference. He met G. They talked. They found a rhythm and lesson interests. She explained that learning didn’t have to be at a table, actively involving worksheets, or be the rigid routine that broke him. They could go out, explore, and learn in the world. Whatever sparked his interest. Lessons, resources, and routines all built around him. 

Wrexham, Weddings, and a Family Weekend

It’s a bank holiday weekend. May bank holidays usually have us taking part in the Sweeps Festival, but this one is different. The six of us are driving to Wrexham to celebrate Hannah’s brother getting married on Monday. The rest of her family arrive on Sunday. We wanted to stretch the weekend into something more than a timetable and a wedding, so we left today.

Parenting James: The Long Awaited ASD and ADHD Diagnosis

 

James has always been bright, funny, creative, expressive, mischievous, troublesome and mouthy, but “different”. He never needed fixing. He just needed micromanaging. He was never purposefully naughty, despite often finding himself in trouble. For the school, it was always labelled as behavioural.

As an ex-teacher, qualified in child development and psychology, and someone who knows our son’s true character, I knew there was an underlying cause outside of behavioural issues. Nevertheless, a question mark always hovered above him.

That was until this month. 

An Anniversary Post: Celebrating Two Years of Marriage

Today marks two years of marriage for Hannah and I. Our cotton anniversary. I always try to find whatever the theme is so I can connect it to presents each year. 

Our Easter 2026

I’ve always preferred Easter to Christmas. Christmas has grown into something bigger, busier, and more frantic than it ever was when I was a child. Yes, I do realise how old I sound saying that. Easter still feels rooted. It remains focused on why we celebrate, and that grounding means even more to me as I move through the ordination process.

Parenting James: The Response I Never Wanted to Read

When I handed in our formal complaint, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. I knew the school would struggle and we wouldn’t get everything we wanted. However, I believed, perhaps naively, that with everything laid out clearly: dates, transcripts, emails, and staff admissions, the school would finally see the pattern James and we have been experiencing.

I didn’t expect a response that said lots while saying almost nothing at all.

Parenting James: The Update I Never Wanted to Write

 

In December, I wrote about how James isn’t a problem to solve, but a child to understand. By now, I should be writing about progress. Instead, it’s about what happens when a school ignores warning after warning until a child finally breaks.

Midge turns 18!

Some moments change you, without you even realising how significant they’ll become. This happened to me in the summer of 2017, when a small girl looked up at me during a visit to Kent and asked if she could call me “Dad.”

Parenting James: He isn't a Problem to solve

Parenting isn’t supposed to feel like walking a tightrope in the dark, especially as a wheelchair user, but that’s where I’ve found myself with James. He’s a teenager now. He’s bright, creative, fearless, funny, sensitive, and fiercely himself. He is also carrying more pain and struggles than most people realise. We’re navigating a storm of school trauma, mental health struggles, risky behaviour, and a young person trying to work out who he is in a world that keeps demanding things from him.

A Blogging Wedding: A Cupcake-Kitney Marriage

When I was younger, I followed the fairy-tale: meet someone, grow up together, get married, have kids, and live a Hollywood happy-ending. My first marriage looked like that on paper — school sweethearts, a castle wedding, a day built for everyone else. Yet life doesn’t always follow the script. By the time of James’ birth we were growing in different directions and ready to break. Becoming a single dad wasn’t part of the plan, but it became the making of me.

A Co-parenting Change

The boy's Mum and I have a positive co-parenting relationship. We fought for a few years, but we maintained a united co-parenting front and eventually acknowledged each other's efforts and pushed forward with mutual respect, something she wrote here in 2015.

A lot has changed. I met Hannah, and all four kids instantly had a bigger family. The boys Mum, Stepdad, Hannah, and I have a WhatsApp group where the stepparents, more organised than the biological parents, maintain necessary communication. Their household has entertained the step-siblings when we've had emergencies. Hannah and the boys Mum, have met for a coffee and chat; there's nothing ominous about your future wife and ex-wife socialising, right? Hannah and her parents socialised with the boys Mum when the step-siblings attended an event. The boys Mum also attends co-parenting meetings and socialised with old mutual friends in our house. I wouldn't say we have a friendship, but it's good. She said in her post, "There were two little ones. And they, whether we liked it or not, had tied our fates together forever. . . There was only "like it or lump it." So, maybe we've moved past the lump-it stage and are at the like-it stage.

To Family and Good Health

 

What's the stereotype for a "Happy New Year"?

New Year, New me? A set of goals to reach? A new diet? Money saving? Better eating? Although I set the odd challenge I tend to stick with "Spend time with my family and good health for all".

We didn't start the New Year like this. Just as we didn't start last year the same way.

2021 didn't start off with "Family and good health" where my father ended up having a severe stroke at the age of 80. It was just another thing for him to fight but the year left him physically fighting a body that was paralysed down his right side and the other half failing him due to old age and dementia. The year just left him needing significant personal care.

So, I’m sure you can imagine, I was hoping for “Family and Good health” this year but 2022 had different plans and started off a bit rubbish before we even got to it.