I don't know why but I always tend to get myself in strange, awkward, yet funny situations.
It is not something that I do on purpose but I suppose it is either the way I retell my experience or if it is just that I am one of those unlucky people that things just happen to.
I have been single for a while now, and after the last 'relationship' I decided that I would leave dating alone for a while, enjoy being single, enjoy being a dad and concentrating on the boys well being, as well as my own personal growth.
Yet there are still times that I lack a certain amount of human interaction with someone other than my pupils and their parents as well as someone older than 5 years old. So within the last month I decided to venture out and start dating again.
Firstly, I had completely forgotten what a cruel, critical dating world we are currently living in. That a side, secondly, it is difficult because we are facing a time where expectations more than just an online profile can create.
When you get to my age (32) you are bound to have something's that people don't deem as desirable. I mention this before in my post http://insidemartynsmind.blogspot.co.uk/2014/09/different-perspective.html
That all being said I have been chatting to people, getting out more socially and becoming, in mind, available to dating someone.
I had been chatting to someone for a while and we decided to go on a date last week. This always brings worries, mainly because of the points listed in my previous post. But my main concern is always my health. Since I was 14, after having a serious Ice skating accident, I started showing signs of weakness and difficulty walking, using steps and standing independently. This is something that I cope with everyday and in reality is just something that I tolerate as being part of my everyday life. It is like having an extra limb. Can be useful, you are aware that it is there, it has its benefits but can also freak a lot of people out.
For me, this is the real test, if I have had a date with someone and they don't freak out and request a second date then that is something positive for me. This happened to me following the date I had last week. Subsequently we met up again, last night to watch a film, for our second date. Now; my first main question when heading to someone's house, is do they have any steps? Not being able to use steps of a certain height it can cause problems, yet if I am aware of it then great, I can bring, what I call, my block ( a self made block that is half the height of an average step allowing a hard step easier for me to step up from) This person I was dating had bigger than normal steps so my block was needed.
The evening went well, we put a film on, completely ignored it, and spent the entire night chatting. Ideal. My health was mentioned briefly, but as normal, I shrugged it off.
Next was the challenge of getting out of the house, venturing these steps with my block, in a new environment as well as it being wet and slippery with rain and wet leaves.
I'm pretty sure you could see what was going to happen next.
Stepping down, with my sole of my foot wet, I slipped went flying and landed in a wet soggy and muddy patch of grass!! This we can laugh at. What an idiot!
The next bit is the difficult bit. I cant stand up independently, as mentioned above, so how do I stand up in a wet, dark environment with out my common use items at home? I tried. I tried again, and yet I couldn't get up. I had an idea, if I got the bottom of the slope, turned, pivoted and pushed I could get up to a standing position. (I have done this before and it is a tried and tested method) So now, making my leg and bum even more wet I bum shuffled in to position!
And I tried.
Yet my idea was foiled why? The ground was wet and covered in leaves. Think at this point of Bambi when he steps on to ice!
My date kindly got a chair ( After laughing for a while, which is far better than panicking) and with great difficulty I managed to get onto it, about ready to stand and some lads started walking up the road. At this point I am wet, muddy and my pride and integrity is down the drain, I have nothing to lose apart from asking the guys for a hand, which they happily helped.
I apologised to my date lots and went on my way home embarrassed.
I fall, and these things happen, it is part of my life, part that I am use to, yet for me it always shows my "disability" at its worst.
Luckily the lady in question is cool. We spoke when I got home, I made a few jokes, and we have continued to chat today.
My biggest thing is; Will I get a third date? I doubt it.
Falling in love wasn't exactly meant to include actually falling. Showing a mans weakness, so to speak, does not show the mans attractive features. And although I told my friends, who know me well, at church this morning and we all laughed at it, as we do most things, it is still a horrible and embarrassing thing in my mind.
Only because I think it looks poorly on me. Some would argue that if she was the right lady she would accept all aspects of my life, including me making a fool of myself by falling over, but when you are dating you want to get the butterflies, the attraction and the want to meet again, and sadly I don't think my falling over would do that.
This experience hasn't made me question dating full stop. I'm still a cute, funny and caring guy, yet the one thing that it has made me question is if and at what point do I need to realise that my health might interfere with dating and just make peace that it might always cause a problem.
Don't know what you guys would think? Would love to hear your take on it all!
****Just to add I'm not a pity party kind of guy so am not seeking pity, and do see the funny side of it all and the visualisation of what happened, so don't feel sorry for me****
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