Stop being Stubborn and Proud Martyn

I have had an exceedingly long week.

It was a week, as can happen from time to time, where I had the boys for longer.

The main problem though is that in these weeks I am exhausted!

I am a mixture of proud and stubborn; not necessarily a good mix. I am constantly battling against stereotypes or expectations and it is and can be a weakness of mine to beat.

The first stereotype is of a Single Dad.

I, since being a single dad, have faced many stereotypes of what a single Dad is. Now, to be fair I hear and speak to a lot of Mum’s and Single Mums and with that I hear horror stories of ex-husbands and partners. Men who have very little access to their children and worse very little intent or willing to have access; there is some extent a place for Dads who don’t want or see their children at all.

In the past I have been marked as a “Standard” single Dad. I have walked into play groups, parties and the school playground and seen whispering about me. I thought this was paranoia until it was overheard and shared with people who are close to me. I suppose the idea is that most Single Dads are deadbeat Jeremy Kyle wannabes and from some of the stories that I hear and have heard I can almost see why this is the case.

However, I want access with my Boys and I don’t want the minimum of every other weekend and a Wednesday evening. I also don’t want to spend the money I earn on alcohol, women and cars; I want to be a Dad.

So with this first stereotype I am trying my hardest to do everything in my power to be an active and engaging Dad. Break the stereotypes and show that some Dads, like myself and others I know, are doing want Dads are meant to be doing.

The Second Stereotype is my Disability.

I know my limitations and know full well what I can and can’t do. For Example:  You won’t find me running and playing football down the park with the boys because I just can’t do that.

The problem I face here though is that some assume that I can’t do anything. I am disabled but that doesn’t stop me from being able to do other things.

So with this in mind I try my hardest to be as active as possible and to push myself to my limits that I am cable of doing allowing me then to give fully to the boys and continue breaking the first stereotype.

This brings me back to being proud and stubborn.

I am exhausted. I have been exhausted since the first two days with the Boys.

I have been doing far too much and something has to give. This week has seen me have the boys over a 6 day period. In that time I have also worked my usual 3 jobs and then kept on top of the housework and chores. How? I honestly don’t know.

It feels very much that I need to drop being stubborn and proud and just do lighter things from time to time. I know if I carry on like this something will break and I don’t want it to be me, again.

This realisation came to me last night as I lay in bed. I had just rubbed gel into my legs to stop them from burning and was taking my medication. On coming to the tablets that stop my twitching I ended up taking a few more as I had been very twitchy and off balance all day; these days happen but it really highlighted that I was at the end of an intense week.

So with that I think I just need to stop, drop the pride and stubborn attitude and realise that it is perfectly Okay not being a Super Dad every day of the week. Each day I have them doesn’t need to be a day packed with happy, engaging activities we can have a “lazy” day too. We’re all human and we all have limitations. I think this week just reminded me that I have mine too.