An Open Letter to Camilla Tominey

Dear Camilla,

I sat here on our lunch break with my mouth left wide open after reading an article you had written and published on Sunday.

I was utterly amazed by some of your offhand comments and judgements; so much that I couldn’t stay quiet.

I home educate my two children and it is a decision that I have never once regretted.

I worked as a primary school teacher over a ten year period and, not only thrived as a class teacher, truly felt like I had found my calling in life.

Upon reading your article I was deeply appalled by what you were saying; both as a parent, home educator and as a teacher.

Your opening sentence showed the premise of what would be a completely ignorant 600 odd words of rubbish.

“If home schooling was such a great idea, wouldn’t teachers be doing it for their own children?. Can you think of anything worse than educating your own child?”

Firstly, there are many terrible things in this world that would be far worse than educating your own children. Yet, if we are working on the premise of children being educated within a school setting I could, following the real news of this week, suggest that children attending their school to be shot down and killed to be far worse than having the mini humans that we love at home safe and sound. That doesn’t include failing school statistics, children being left behind educationally, and higher statistics in bullying within schools or general attitude of staff or peers.

There is loads here, however, that need to be raised. Do you just have the nanny collect the children from school, make them sit quietly and allow the 9 – 3 education to just guide them in life? Aren’t we, as their parents, continually educating them in some form or another? Do our children not ask question after question with something that they are intrigued by? Do you answer? Or tell them to write it down and ask the paid experts to do the answering?

Education, in my eyes, doesn’t start and end between 9 – 3 Monday to Friday; we are there to guide and support their well-being. Even with the Human Rights Act, the Education Act 1996 shows that “places a legal duty on the parent or guardian of a child aged five to sixteen years (known as compulsory school age), to ensure that the child attends and receives full-time education, either in a traditional school or by any other means that is appropriate for their age, ability, and aptitude, taking into account any special needs they may have” It is OUR duty as parents and guardians to make sure that the children are educated and within that shows that education is varied and NOT just within the confines of a school.

You also state in the article that:

“if home schooling was such a great idea, wouldn’t teachers be doing it for their own children?”

I get your point here but you are also missing a massive gap. Many parents who are in the profession look at their child, the schooled environment their children are in, and see that they can do a better job than what is being offered; subsequently making the decision to improve the education of their child/ren. Yet, it isn’t just the teachers who are parents that are seeing the failure that the state system is continually providing.

Home Education isn’t just a hippy lifestyle choice that is sweeping the nation but more of a statement of what is being provided in front of them. Your opening statement supports this “if home schooling was such a great idea, wouldn’t teachers be doing it for their own children?” This isn’t because a lifestyle choice but a reflection of what is being provided in the state system for many parents. If, under your premise, that the choice is due to bullying and additional needs (“Perhaps they’ve got special needs or they’re being bullied”) doesn’t that alone show that the schools are not supporting  ALL children?

I would also like to address the following statement:

“It’s surely not only preferable for children to hang out with other children but also for parents to network with other parents”

My children are not left to the confines of the house. They go to different social groups like swimming, cubs and days out; some with other home educated children and some with schooled children. They are social creatures as much as we are. Do your children not have any friends outside of school or partake in any activity that isn’t based within the school grounds? The same concept is applied for us parents. You make friends at these groups, socialise at them too and create more than a morning hello on the school playground; they are, after all, in the same boat as I am.

Finally, and I know quite judgementally on my part, I would like to address your parenting that is mentioned within the article.

“I can barely get my little darlings to do their homework without bribing them with handfuls of Haribo.”

Wow. I know many parents with schooled children who do not feel the need to bribe their children to do the homework. Is it because the homework is too hard? If so, isn’t that down to the education they are given? Or, is it because of your own distaste to helping them along with it that they, like you, have opted for a negative attitude to education and learning outside of the school setting? I think your statement further on makes that clear:

“I’m happy for teachers to ensure that our nine-years-olds know their tables but if you want me to do it I’d like a tax rebate.”

Do you not go through the timetables with them at home to make sure they are prepared for school?

“I’ve lost count of the times I’ve returned home to peace and tranquility, only for the screaming to start as soon as the nanny has gone.”

What usually happens in this scenario? Is this when the Haribo comes out? What would you suggest to us families who cannot fund a nanny? Also, could the nanny educate and help with homework? Or, to help you with your spelling? isn’t it “tranquillity”?

My two are loud and sometimes aren’t the happy “Von Trapp” children I would like them to be but isn’t that part of parenting? I also don’t have a nanny to help keep them “controlled” and yet, take on that challenging part to juggle the highs and the lows and somehow manage to enjoy the more pleasurable moments of their youth.

Finally:

“If your children were with you 24/7, how would you get anything done, like shopping, going to the gym or, come to think of it, a job?”

You raise a valid point here. I have been home educating now for 3 years and haven’t managed to work or do any shopping. If only there was some way to buy things online that could be delivered to your door. Or, heavens forbid, that I take my wild, uneducated, children to the shops, in public, to go shopping for these things. Luckily, the amount of running around that I do each and every day helps to conquer the need for the gym but then I am not continually snacking on rubbish at every opportunity!

“I’m writing this on a rare day working from home and I’ve already eaten a packet of Hula Hoops, a Club Orange, half a packet of Jelly Babies and seven Liquorice Allsorts.”

I get that you are happy with your idea of what education is and what you’re children are receiving but so are a lot of people, including the home ed parents of the estimated 50,000 (although I think this is a low estimation) children in the UK. I have the absolute pleasure to ensure that my children can get the best education possible, grow and achieve without the restraint of tick boxes and achievement charts, be loving, polite, bright, and caring, can socialise with more than just their peer group and see the little victories of seeing them achieve or understand something that they didn’t before.

My advice for you is to get rid of the nanny, stop buying Haribo, sit and cherish the moments that your children offer you and take some time when you next have some peace and tranquillity to educate yourself on Home Education.

Regards

A Home Educating Dad