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Originally written in September 2014 as 'Being Busy; Butlins' — Updated for clarity in 2026 with Reflection.
The boys and I have just come back from a long weekend at Butlins. It was our first proper family holiday together, and it felt like a milestone I never thought we would reach. My dad paid for the trip as a treat for all of us after Mum died. It was two years on, and we were still finding our feet as a family. My brother Nathan and his partner Donna came too, which made it feel like a full family break rather than a quick escape.
We stayed in a downstairs chalet, which made life easier with the boys and my mobility and disability. We took a silly-face selfie outside the moment we arrived.
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[Image 2. The boys are weaeing light blue tops with animal patterns on the front. I'm wearing a grey top. We stand in front of steps, pulling faces for the photo] |
I was still using a smaller scooter back home, but we hired a larger one on site. It was great. It's convinced me to get a bigger one when we got home. I was also at my skinniest, which gave me a confidence I had not felt in years. It was a strange mix of grief, rebuilding, and feeling proud that I had managed to get us there at all.
The boys loved every minute. They had late nights watching cabaret shows, dancers, and character performances.
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[Image 3. A photo of the cabaret from where we were seated] |
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| [Image 4. William sat at a table with Donna and Nathan watching the cabaret show. The photo is in red tones reflecting the venues lighting] |
The photos of James on my lap drinking a slushy, and another of him sitting with my dad I love. I also really love William sitting next to Donna with his bright blue slushy, looking like he owned the place. He suddenly looked so grown up.
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| [Image 5. James sitting on my lap wearing a stripped top, drinking a blue slushy. I'm sat upon the mobility scooter.] |
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| [Image 6. James wearing his stripped top, staring at the camera as he's sat on my dad, wearing a white patterned shirt, lap] |
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| [Image 7. William sits happily with his drink while Donna smiles beside him during an evening show and wears a pink and green floral dress.] |
We spent a day at the circus. I remember hating the clown. I have always had a borderline clown phobia and issue, and this one did not help. The boys were fascinated. William leaned over the ring barrier, completely focused. There were acrobats, trapeze artists, and a ringmaster in a straw hat. The boys were wide-eyed the whole time.
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| [Image 8. A smile photo of myself with the 2 boys as we waited for the circus to start] |
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| [Image 9. A trapeze artist at the circus wearing a stripped leotard] |
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| [Image 10. The clown and also ring master close to the barriers as he entertained everyone] |
[Image 11. Acrobats wearing orange leotards, moving as the perform]
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| [Image 12. William wearin blue is watching closely just above the barrier at the circus acrobats perfoming] |
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| [Image 13. Acrobats wearing orange leotards, moving as the perform] |
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| [Image 14. A clown with rings to juggle while entertaining the audience with different jokes] |
There were plenty of rides and amusements. The boys sat on a little automated train, and James pretended to fly an aeroplane on one of the rides.
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| [Image 15. James grips the controls with a big grin while the ride sits still.] |
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[Image 16. Both boys are ona bus ride, smiling as the move past us. James is driving and William is the passenger] |
Each morning started with a kids’ show. One day it was Barney the Dinosaur. The next day it was Mike the Knight. They were in their element.
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| [Image 17. The boys sit in the audience while Barney performs on stage.] |
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| [Image 18. The stage is set with castle props as Mike the Knight walks on stage while the boys watch from the back row] |
The highlight for them was seeing Dick and Dom. The stage was set up like their bedroom, which matched the TV show. They even had a pretend boxing match. The boys were buzzing for hours afterwards.
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| [Image 19. The stage looks like a bedroom set, matching the TV show, with props scattered around.] |
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| [Image 20. Dick and Dom walk on stage wearing boxing outfits as they entertain the audience] |
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| [Image 21. They come to our end of the stage to engage with our side of the room] |
I could not take them on the carpet helter skelter, so my dad took William and Nathan took James. Both of them loved it and went several times with faces full of joy.
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| [Image 22. William sits on a mat while your dad guides him down the slide.] |
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| [Image 23. James cheering as he reaches the bottom of the slide as Nathan guides and supports him] |
Nathan and Donna also took them on the merry-go-round. Another day we tried the mini go-kart course. William drove on his own, and Nathan helped James steer.
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| [Image 24. William is leaning forward on the merry-go-round horse, while Donna pretends to scream] |
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[Image 25. Nathan has James, who is waving at the camera. Donna is say with William who is looking ahead, as all 4 ride the merry-go-round] |
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[Image 26. The boys ride small go-karts on a children’s track. William is in front on a white kart. James is on the red one following William. |
They loved spending more time with my brother. So much so that they became thick as thieves, like them posing on mopeds, which still makes me smile.
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[Image 27. William is on a red moped. Nathan is on a white one, and James on a green one. All three smile while sitting on colourful toy mopeds.] |
We found a beach-style play park with sand instead of grass. The boys played with diggers and climbed everything they could reach. It was simple, but they loved it.
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| [Image 28. James investigating a sand tunnel at the sand park] |
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| [Image 29. William is playing we a digger toy at the sand park] |
The last photo is us getting out of the car at home. Everyone looks tired in that happy, with big smiles, holiday way.
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| [Image 30. A tired but happy moment as the boys are about to climb out of the car as we arrived home] |
It was a weekend full of noise, colour, family, love, and movement that reminded me that life can rebuild itself in small, unexpected ways.
2026 Reflection
Looking back, this holiday feels like a lifetime ago but a turning point. It was the first time I realised that the boys and I could build our own memories, after struggling the year before, and the harder struggles when everything fell apart. Dad giving us that break meant more than he ever knew, I wish that I had told him that. It gave me confidence as a single parent and showed the boys that family can look different and still feel full. I see those photos now and notice how small they were, how thin I was, and how much we were all trying to find our place again. It was messy and loud and exhausting, yet it was the start of us becoming a proper little team.
If you want to read more about our family fun, click here.
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