My post a day challenge continues with something simple from our weekly routine. Every Friday I have a standing tradition with my dad. It started as a small idea and has slowly become one of the most important parts of our relationship.
My mum and I had an amazing relationship. We did not always agree, although we understood each other. You could easily call me a mummy’s boy. Losing her a couple of years ago broke me in a way I still struggle to explain and took a while to recover. I had memories and love to hold onto. They were a tribute in their own right. My brother did not have the same experience. Their relationship was strained and quiet. There was love, although it came from two people who were nothing alike. Mum and I shared interests, which made our bond stronger.
Before she passed, my dad had already been unwell for some time. Mum had been talking to me about his funeral and what we would do. Losing her first was a shock that changed everything. My relationship with Dad had always been difficult. We are very different people with different interests. The idea that he could have died and I would be left with regret frightened me. I did not want to repeat the pattern my brother faced.
I moved in shortly after Mum’s funeral. There were many reasons for that decision, although one of the most important was the chance to rebuild something with Dad. The last few years have not been easy. We still clash and misunderstand each other. We also keep trying.
We created two small traditions to help us connect. The first is a film night where we take turns choosing something to watch. The second is our Friday takeaway night. Dad is old fashioned, so it usually ends up being fish and chips. I do not mind the routine. It is one night a week where we sit together without the boys, talk a little, and share food.
It works because films and food are universal. They give you something to share even when you have nothing else in common. These evenings have helped us grow a relationship without forcing either of us to change who we are. They have also given me space to learn things about him that I never knew. His dream of converting the house or how he once played ten pin bowling for the GB team. I had no idea.
Something as small as fish and chips has helped us build a better foundation. I always encourage people to find one shared activity that everyone can enjoy. Families are complicated. Many are fractured. Regret grows quickly when you avoid each other. A small weekly ritual can shift the direction of a relationship more than you expect.
It is time to choose connection where you can.
2026 Reflection
Reading this again brings back a version of myself who was trying to hold a family together after everything had fallen apart. I can see how hard I was trying to repair something with Dad while still grieving Mum. I can also see how much those small rituals mattered. They were never really about fish and chips. They were about choosing to show up for each other.
Dad is gone now, and these posts feel heavier than they did at the time. They also feel important. They remind me that we tried. We found small ways to meet in the middle. We built something that would not have existed if I had waited for the perfect moment or the perfect relationship.
Those small rituals became the foundation that carried me through the years that followed, especially when he was diagnosed with cancer, dementia and the stroke. They shaped the way I learned to show up even when life felt complicated and protect him when people tried taking advantage. They also taught me how fragile good health can be, how plans fall apart in ways you never expect, and to cherish those one to one moments with my own children. These moments were never just about fish and chips. They were the start of learning how to hold family, grief and responsibility at the same time.
If you want to see how these themes developed, you can read my later posts about grief, rebuilding family rhythms, and the way small habits shape long term connection by clicking here.
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