Call Me Pinocchio!

When do lies become a clear choice for children?

William has started lying a lot at the moment and, quite frankly, it’s really starting to annoy me.

I can’t pinpoint when he realised that lying was an alternative choice but I know that between both him and James that somewhere along the lines they have picked it up especially when you take into account the post called “Daddy Said” but I have always seen that as exaggerating rather than direct lying. 

I have two main problems with this though:

1. William’s lies are terrible: even when they’re slightly more believable it’s blatant that he’s lying.

2. He stares straight at me, when questioned, and sticks to his lie.

It is a known fact that I cannot, for the life of me, tell a lie; I am as obvious as poor old Pinocchio and whenever I have told a lie people spot my “Lying face”.

This, as a child, was a nightmare.

I was, out of my brother and I, the one who always got caught out and the one who got punished more because I thought I could get away with it.

For all of those who have seen me and the boys together you will know that they are the spitting image of me; William especially looks like me.

Within this fact lies the first problem: William has my lying face.

I can take one look at him and within his face I see his eyes change and worse his lying mouth. Sadly, for William, it never worked for me and it definitely doesn’t work for him.

He, obviously, has the same cheek that I did and believes he can look me straight in the eyes when lying. In truth this actually hurts me more. I would much rather him realise that he has been caught out and tell me the truth and subsequently avoid a worst case scenario.

The thing is within all of this he still stands by the rule of not having secrets. He will loudly and clearly say “No, we don’t keep secrets” So why then is he thinking that it’s OK to lie?

Isn’t lying brought under the same premise as secrets; ultimately both are withholding information.

I know that most children will tell lies at some point, It's part of their development, but it has come as a surprise at the extent he's doing it. I also know that generally children lie more between 4 and 6 where they become more talented and inventive with it.

Knowing something and being in it is difficult especially if this will continue for a while.

I grew out of my lying stage when I was around 28 (I know it’s late but I know that a lot of people still lie and cover up information) I realised that I was so terrible at it that I might as well stop.

(I think the realisation came with watching too many episodes of Eastenders! Lies and secrets always come out)

Sadly I still run the reverse of this and within my honesty you find that I talk too much and haven’t put the brakes on. Too much honesty can definitely be a bad thing. (But maybe that should be another post)
So where do I go with getting the balance right when raising the boys?

I need to teach them that lying is wrong and I need them to see the parallel between lies and secrets.

What would you do, or done, when your child blatantly lies to your face?