Friday, 3 July 2015

Experiencing Martyns Thoughts

I never realised that Blogging could offer anymore than a place to put all of my crazy rants! And believe me, I had some crazy rants!

If someone had told me that I would have made some fantastic friends through it I would have never have believed them; especially if they had said one would become one my best friends!

Through one of our many chats, Ally from Messed up Mum and I spoke about the fact that maybe I should share more about my mental health. From that lead to the idea that she should do a guest post about me; something that, I have to admit, worried me after agreeing to it! She knows too much! 

I have read it and haven't edited it, so here it is:

Soooo… Martyn made the uber mistake of asking me to write a guest post for him, telling the world what he is like from my point of view. I am a typical scouser, forward, honest and doesn’t hold back, so whether or not it was a mistake for him to do so I don’t know, let’s see what he makes of it. If it gets published it obviously means I’ve written about him in a positive light, which must mean I’ve lied… Haha, joke! So here goes, here is Martyn from his best mates point of view….




Martyn is actually a pretty awesome guy to be honest. We started chatting on Twitter and reading each others blogs and found ourselves opening up to each other quite quickly.
Firstly tweeting, then DM, then whatsapp and within a few months we were on the phone to each other 24/7 (which landed me with a £550 phone bill one month, eek!). Martyn opens up to me a lot because I cried to him first; I showed my vulnerable side to him and leant on him through a bout of depression, and he got me through it. Since then the tables have turned, and turned, and turned again. We have both done as much for each other I think.

One thing I’ve learnt about Martyn is that he completely underplays everything. He blogs so openly about his mental health and for that I can’t praise him enough, it’s bloody hard for men to open up about such a sensitive issue. But other than that everything else he hides. For example his intelligence. He won’t tell you this but he has 4 degrees and plays 13 musical instruments at grade 8. He’s not as soft as he comes across!

Then there is his disability. I think a few people were shocked seeing how much Martyn can struggle with his muscular dystrophy at Britmums. He doesn’t underplay it because he’s proud, he underplays it because he is strong. If you don’t know about MD check it out, it’s an awful thing for him to have to live with, yet he carries on as ‘normal’ as possible. There are times when it’s difficult for him, there have been times (notice plural?!) when the poor guy has been smacked in the face with my boob when I’ve had to help him up after a fall, and he will tell you I am the weakest person on Earth so I just make it worse than I do better half the time!!

And he underplays his DPD, dependancy personality disorder. Which is where my praise for him stops!! The guy is a pain in the backside with his DPD, but he knows this! Haha! On a serious note though, it is hard being the person he is dependant on. It’s hard knowing the emotional pain he is suffering, it’s hard knowing how much he is beating himself up for just being him, and it’s hard trying to reassure him.



When it flares up at it’s worst there is absolutely nothing I can say to put his mind at rest. He overthinks everything and his mind will always come up with the most negative conclusion, usually something self destructive. No matter what I say or do, he will only notice the things I do wrong. Not wrong in the fact I’ve done something mean or nasty, just wrong in the sense that it hasn’t helped his thoughts.

The one thing he never listens to when he is on a low is that I will always be there for him, that I am his friend and that I do care. When he is having a ‘blip’ I can tell him over and over and his brain tells him not to listen, his mind will tell him that by becoming so dependant on me he will scare me away. It drives me bonkers but it will never scare me away.

Martyn knows I am a straight talker and I don’t always give him the answers that he wants, but he also knows that I will always be there to help him through whatever. He is like the rest of us, good on a good day, bad on a bad day, although his go to the extremes of awesomeness and utter pain in the butt. 

The only thing I can do is remind him of how immense he is when he’s not having a bad time, I can’t make him believe it when his mind is battling with him and me, but I can make him believe it when he is having a good week so hopefully we can push the negatives away between us.
Having Martyn as a friend can be hard work at times but it’s totally worth it, the good times defo outweigh the hard times, by far! I just hope next time his DPD flares up he can read this and see that I am always here for him and that we make an epic team and will get through it every time :)
Well honestly that could have gone far worse! Note to self don't tell Ally too much in the future, she knows to many of my secrets for me not to worry about what she could write!
Seriously though, I know that I am extremely lucky to have such a good friend as her, especially one that accepts both sides of me; I know it can't be easy.
I hope for the rest of you though that this has been a good insight to another side of me that you might not have known.

52 comments:

  1. Ahh, you really didn't change any of it! Love ye! X

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    1. Of course not. Loved it. You know me well. :) love ya too x

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  2. I really enjoyed reading this and I agree with both of you. Ally, you're amazing and help so many people. You're truly special. Martyn, you too are amazing. To live with what you live with and still be a great guy and even better Father is so inspiring to me that I couldn't begin to put it into words.

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    1. Thanks Ryan. Ally is amazing. She's such a good friend, I know it's not always easy. And thank you, I just do what I do and just get on, especially for the boys.

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  3. Aww you guys!! I bloody love you too & proud to have you both as friends

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  4. Ah great post nice to know you a bit more, I knew about your MD but not anything else. You're both lucky to have each other you both seem like great people to have as friends x

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  5. Aw thanks Hannah! Glad you learnt a little more about me. Ally is fab. Am very lucky.

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  6. Aww! It's great to know some more about you Martyn...
    Lovely post! Well done Ally x

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    1. Thanks Kim. She did a fantastic job. Very proud of my friend.

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  7. Ah, I love this, what a post! And I agree, he's a pain in the arse ;) You're both so lucky to have such a good friend in each other. And Martyn, I had no idea you were such a swot ;)

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    1. Great isn't it. She's done me proud. Ha yes I'm a pain but glad you already knew that! I'm exceptionally lucky to have such a friend like her. Haha it cos I keep quiet about a lot.

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  8. Martyn you are VERY clever :). Ally, you sound amazing and Martyn too but you already know I think that Martyn;). I loved reading this.

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  9. All those degrees! I never would have guessed you were clever Martina!.....only joking it's obvious you are, but you so downplay your strong points and achievements, and how are we supposed to big you up when you do that?! I know usually we tease each other and have a tease each other type of relationship, but really you should be proud of all you've achieved, all that you overcome on a daily basis and just of the person you are - when you aren't trying to tell the world I have a moustache and a beard!
    Lovely post Ally!

    Stevie x

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    1. Thanks Stevie. Maybe I don't want bigging up lol I'm happy being me the cheeky pain in the neck that I am. Much prefer who I am over the achievements I make. Including daily one. She did so well didn't she?

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  10. Just a reminder that you're bloody awesome 😉
    So glad Ally is your BFF and you have someone to look after you and tell you how it is! Haha.
    Xxx

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    1. Aw thanks Nat! Not always clear but with great people around I'll get there. And Ally is fab! Am glad I have her too.

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  11. A lovely tribute to what is clearly a great friendship, and an honest and interesting insight into DPD. #bigfatlinky

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    1. Thank you. She's an awesome friend. Sorry for the delay in replying.

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  12. Great post and so honest. Love posts that have true honesty in them. And your both lucky to have such amazing friends in each other #bigfatlinky x

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    1. Thank you :) She's an awesome friend. Sorry for the delay in replying.

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  13. What a gorgeous post and what a wonderful friendship - Martyn - what are your degrees in? Do tell :) thank you for sharing this :) #bigfatlinky

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    1. Haha I have them in Art, Teaching, Early Childhood Studies and Psychology as well as 2 diplomas in Art therapy and Counselling. She's an awesome friend. Sorry for the delay in replying.

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  14. I've loved reading this, You are so brave letting your bestie share what life's like with you, I'd be too worried what mine would say and that my selected blog image would be blown. Lol! You sound like an amazing and very interesting person, I can't believe that you cope with all the above & home school. Amazeballs! (I keep seeing postcards in my local shop & remembering I was supposed to send you one. Are you still on that geography project?) Ali from Mum in a nutshell popping over from #bigfatlinky

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    1. Haha I know, must be crazy to let her loose! Thank you. I just do what I have to with support from people like Ally. She's an awesome friend. Sorry for the delay in replying.

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  15. What a lovely post, and how lucky you both are to have found one another!

    Ashleigh x

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    1. Thank you. She's an awesome friend. Sorry for the delay in replying.

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  16. THIS WAS AWESOME. I understand this, my best friend has Bipolar and when i'm unwell with my physical illnesses these can effect my thinking and my "overthinkging" which is somethign i have been working on for the past few years! Nice to know i'm not the only one :) Thanks for sharing Ally and Martyn!

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    1. Thanks Angela. Having good friends really helps. She's an awesome friend too. Sorry for the delay in replying.

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  17. I loved reading this! Mainly as Ally is so honest! I wish you wouldn't downplay it all Martyn! All those degrees! Wow! I think I saw a bit more how the MD gets you from BritMums and you do amazingly well. I'm so happy you met Ally and she's such a good friend xx #bigfatlinky

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    1. Thanks Sarah. I suppose I just don't talk enough. Glad Ally did though. She's an awesome friend. Sorry for the delay in replying.

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  18. Wow, you really are an amazing man and superb roll model for your children. A wonderful guest post and insight into the real you! :-) #bigfatlinky

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  19. Well done to both of you - seriously brave honesty but my respect has gone up a few notches. Keep on keeping on!

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    1. Aw thanks Luke. We just do what we do as parents despite our difficulties.

      She's an awesome friend. Sorry for the delay in replying.

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  20. How wonderful! not only the post but the fact you two have developed such a wonderful friendship :) #bigfatlinky

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    1. Thank you. She's an awesome friend and I'm lucky to have her. Sorry for the delay in replying.

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  21. Everybody needs a friend like Ally. Not everyone does. You are truely blessed.

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    1. She's an awesome friend and I'm very lucky. You're right everyone needs a friend like her. Sorry for the delay in replying.

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  22. Ah you can tell you two have a lovely bond! I love reading honest posts like this, sometimes people just write about the good stuff on their blogs and life isn't always perfect is it! Great blog xx #bigfatlinky

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    1. Exactly! It's good to be real and show an honesty side. Sorry for the delay in replying

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  23. Back again from the #BigFatLinky, thanks for hosting :)
    Debbie
    www.myrandommusings.blogspot.com

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  24. What a nice and honest post! This is really a great friendship!! You are lucky! I didn't know any of this details but now I feel that I know you a little bit more and I like it! ;-) I can't believe you can play 13 instruments. This really deserves a wow and a clap clap lol can you tell us what are them? xx #BigFatLinky

    A Moment with Franca
    http://www.amomentwithfranca.com/

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    1. Thanks Franca.She's an awesome friend. Sorry for the delay in replying.

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  25. Great guest post and it sounds as though you are dealing with your challenges the best you can as well as head-on. My father suffered through a period of mental health issues while I was a teenager and I know he tried his best to carry on and impact those around him as little as possible. Honestly though, the people who love you genuinely want to help and will always be willing to go that extra mile. #bigfatlinky

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    1. I agree totally. Makes a big difference to how you are. Plus She's an awesome friend. Sorry for the delay in replying.

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  26. Nice to read and not so nice to read, maybe beautifully thought out and written as a better description as some of the things that have to be coped with are not so great xxxxx #bigfatlinky (would add some fantastic quote, intelligent comment, however just not that clever) Hugs xxx

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    1. Thank you. I think she did brilliantly with this. Put it perfectly. Sorry for the delay in replying

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  27. Martyn, I loved reading this. Ally is such a lovely lady and is an amazingly supportive and caring person. You are very lucky to have such a good friend. And she is very lucky to have you in her life too. The main thing that is clear from this post is that Ally cares about you hugely. You are obviously hugely important to her. And you need to remember that in the hard times. Although, I know that is easier said than done. Hugs Mrs H xxxx PS four degrees and 13 musical instruments - that is epic. You are awesome.

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    1. Thanks Mrs H. She is truly amazing and a lovely person to know. She truly is a fantastic friend. It isn't easy at times but glad we have each others back.
      Aw thank you.

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