Why Stay‑at‑Home Parents Need Real Time for Themselves

Originally written in November 2014 as 'Taking Some Time for Me' — Updated for clarity and reflection in 2026.

I am a stay at home dad who also home schools my eldest. I work part time when I can, teaching home tutorials, piano and guitar. I have the boys for half the week with our 50/50 arrangement, and some months I have them for more. When you add all of that together, most of my life revolves around looking after and teaching children.

My days are centred on engaging young minds. It raises a simple question. Where does time for me fit in?

It rarely does. Evenings disappear into household jobs, lesson planning, or documenting the journey. If I finally sit down, I am usually too tired to do anything that feels like rest. Constantly in Dad mode. Every part of me winds down until I am running on empty. The challenge is that I am still a parent, teacher, cleaner, cook and playmate. I love my boys and would not change that. I still need to find a way to wind myself back up before the next child centred activity. Otherwise I drift through the week in a daze.

Once in a while I take time to do something that is mine. Something adult centred.

It takes planning. Last night I cleaned the house so I could relax today without feeling stressed about the mess. I did a quick tidy this morning to satisfy my need for order. Today is one of my days off because the boys are with their mum on Wednesdays. I decided to use it well.

I am a geek and proud of it. I chose a film day. Transformers: Age of Extinction went straight on. It gave me action, escapism and a break from the constant noise of children’s programmes on repeat. It lifted me more than I expected. Movies, reading and drawing and painting, are the few things that do lift me. 

Days like this matter. Many of us move quickly through the week, running between chores, work, children and everything else that lands on our shoulders. We burn out, stay awake worrying and let the pace of life take over. Time for yourself becomes the first thing to disappear.

Me time is not selfish. It is maintenance. It is the act of winding your motor back up before it stalls. It can be as simple as enjoying a cup of tea while it is still hot, watching a film, reading a book or sitting in silence. Creativity helps me, so I draw or play the piano. Sometimes I do a mixture of everything. Putting the phone or laptop away helps more than I expect.

Find time for yourself when your batteries are low, not when they have already run out. Even if it happens rarely, it still counts.

What do you do to recharge? I would love to hear your ideas.

2026 Reflection

This post takes me straight back to the early years of single parenting. I was stretched thin, tired and trying to hold everything together. I can see how much pressure I put on myself to be the parent, the teacher, the cleaner, the entertainer and the emotional anchor. I wrote this before I confessed how much I struggled as a single dad, but after I challenged the stereotyping of dads as parents. It was long before I wrote about how hard it was to keep blogging when life felt overwhelming.

Reading this now, I can see the early signs of burnout that later showed up in posts like Thrown on the Daddy Track and Stop Being Stubborn and Proud. I kept pushing through until I finally realised I needed rest. That lesson followed me into later years, including the impromptu holiday that forced me to slow down and the post where I admitted how tired I was.

This small moment of watching a film on a Wednesday was the start of learning how to take breaks without guilt. It shaped the way I write about rest, pressure and the reality of parenting. It also shaped the way I talk about self care in the middle of chaos. Looking back, I can see how necessary it was.

If you would like to read more of my topics like this, click here.