Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t been about for
the last few days. Usually this is down to a mental health problem and I need
to hide away and gather myself together. However, this time it wasn’t the case.
I posted recently that I have been doing too much and
subsequently I was feeling exhausted. I put this solely down to trying to
juggle my extremely hectic life and justified this reason as being one through being
stubborn ad proud; I still believe this is true.
I have the boys for half the week and in that time I, as you
know, am a Stay at Home Dad who also Home Schools. This is great fun and I wouldn’t
change the time I have with the boys or the choice to Home School.
Around this I also work a variety of Jobs. I am a Part time
Music Teacher; teaching the Piano and the Guitar. I also work as a tutor for a
range of subjects and Pupils.
To then pick up that extra bit of money up I am Quiz master
at a local pub; which I thoroughly enjoy.
I somehow manage to juggle all of this together and the
normal tedious adult activities like housekeeping etc.
I honestly don’t know how I do and do it all by myself;
especially if you consider my disability.
(I am still single and to be honest plan to stay that way
for a while, subsequently I don’t have that extra body around to help when I
need it)
The problem is that I have the boys over a 4 day period and
longer if it happens to be one of the rare weeks.
I work near enough solidly for 2 days. So that only really
gives one day to rest. The thing is that is when I do my housework, organising
and blogging; albeit reading, writing, commenting and social media interaction.
(Although I still manage to fit all of this in during the week too)
So as stated at the beginning it is too much and I am
burning myself out.
Mentally and Physically I am feeling it; the latter mostly.
I am becoming slightly more unstable on my feet, everything is feeling like
extra effort and to top it off I have the pain. Oh the pain!
I get to bed time and I am left exhausted but when it comes
to sleep I am having to take extra medication as well as having cream to rub
over my muscles to help relieve part of the pain that I am.
This has been the case for months. I push and push and do
everything that I can but why?
I said above, and in the previous post, that this is down to
my pride and being stubborn. Take that point away and I still get left with the
question, why?
A few people over Twitter, Facebook and on this very blog told
me that I need to stop and slow down; find the balance and remember that I need
to look after myself. It needed to be said and I needed to listen.
So it came to Friday, the one day of the week that I don’t have
the boys of work, the day where I do everything else.
This time though I did very little. I worked on the things
that needed to be done and then I rested. It was a real eye opener and the main
reason was because it really didn’t help!I was exhausted all day.
It is now Saturday Evening and although I have worked this
morning I am just about feeling human again.
When did it take a full day and a half for me to rest and
recover?
I know my disability and I know what happens and will happen
but unless I have done something extremely physical I have never needed to
recover this much.
This, in itself, was the eye opener.
With this I have decided that I will make every Friday a
rest day and hopefully find some balance and cut back a little; before this
burns me out totally.
It has taught me just how much I am doing and how important
looking after myself is.
4 comments:
Oh Martyn, I am so glad that you are going to take a step back and look after yourself more. It is so hard to do though. I am my own worst enemy. But every now and then life catches up with me and I need to just be. Rest and relaxation are an important part of life. Needing to look after yourself is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, you should be proud that you have recognised that this is an important factor of your life. Take care of yourself. Hugs Mrs H xxxx
Thanks Lovely! I think sometimes it's needed, disabled or not, otherwise, as you say, it catches up on you. Thank you, it was a wake up call one I will remember!
So glad you're carving a day out for yourself, not only do your boys need you you need to feel your best else it drags you down doesn't it. Hope you stick with it *waggles finger*
Thank you. I think o need people like you to wag their finger at me from time to time so I don't over do ot for the reasons you've said.
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