Eulogy for Dad

Dad was born to Edgar and Julia Kitney on the 10th of June 1940 in Rainham. He was raised in 59 Station Road and for a short time alongside his cousin, Christine. At 12 his sister Ruth was born and you can see in old family photos his pride of being a big brother. His other cousin, Don said despite Keith being 11 years older than him and not seeing him much, he still has fond memories during the 60s when the family would gather together. Even then, Dad loved to be around family.

In 1954, at the age of 14, Dad joined the Royal Marines school of music at Deal where he played a variety of instruments from Violin, clarinet and trumpet. Whilst there he took on lots of different roles. Usually to benefit himself somehow. He enjoyed kitchen duty peeling potatoes or giving tours on a Sunday as it got him out of the mandatory church services. Being sporty he included himself in lots of different activities; one of which was Boxing.

Barbie and Ken

As mentioned previously, growing up I had multiple generational and social stereotypes being pushed upon me.  

Mum and I were similar so she nurtured the person I was over the person they, especially Dad, expected me to be. 

For a long time I would say they were part of the “uneducated generation” but I won’t excuse it. They BOTH negatively impacted my understanding of LGBTQ+ communities. 

Dad encompassed the bigoted world and, unlike Mum who varied, I never witnessed ANYTHING outside of that opinion. 

Anything other than heterosexual was "wrong".  

The Flaw in the Plan

I've spoken a lot over the years about my Mum. 

I, of course, was a massive Mummies boy. So it isn't surprising that I have. However, she did have her flaws. 

Mum was a strong woman. Physically and mentally. She was the epitome of a "Matriarch". 

Her years working in the army, particularly within the Royal Engineers, meant that many of her actions were with militarily precision. 

Mum's roll in the Army changed over the years but it was mostly admin work. Her exemplary work and commitment was even rewarded by her superiors and she received a commendation for service and commitment by the Queen; a massive highlight from the royalist that she was. 

Before she died, Mum organised and compiled a legal case against Tesco’s following an accident she had and did so with very little legal support; something the Judge at the time praised especially when it was more than the opposition.