The Perception of Me

*Trigger Warning* 

Anxiety - Mental Health - Self-harm 

 “Looks can be deceiving”. 

“Never judge a book by its cover". 

2 different phrases that most people would know.

I’ve been struggling for a few days with my mental health. 

My long existing readers will know that my mental health has been a long 9 year rollercoaster of a journey. Sometimes I’m fine but then other times, when it’s not great, I tend to chat about it here. 

This time I’ve really been struggling with my anxiety; specifically social anxiety triggers. 

I wrote a post back in January called “Thou Shall Not Judge" where I spoke about being a Christian but not always a traditional stereotypical Christian. I expressed interest in taking my faith further, pursuing a life of service further on in my life. 

It was something I wanted to. Something I genuinely feel called to do but with my current life position and my health I doubt I will. 

The prospect of Marriage

I was 24 when I married the boys mum.

It seemed the right thing to do at the time.

We met at school. She was a year below me and I was taking extra AS Level subjects to cover University course requirements.

Eventually, our mutual acquaintance turned to dating and then into a relationship.

5 years later, with a push from my parents, I proposed.

We’d been dating for 5 years and most people thought we were the best choices AND chances for us both to have a serious relationship.

Looking back there were clearly red flags in our relationship.

A Childs Worth

How do you justify a child’s worth?

This shouldn’t be a question but it’s one that is made every day by professionals up and down the country.

We’ve been trying to get Will an EHCP (Educational Health Care plan) for the last 6 months.

We’ve wanted to place him back into school and leave Home Ed behind.

Will has discussed the want to go into school which is a massive deal considering he was a school refuser for 5 years.