Sunday 1 November 2015

Finally realised I needed Rest!

Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t been about for the last few days. Usually this is down to a mental health problem and I need to hide away and gather myself together. However, this time it wasn’t the case.
I posted recently that I have been doing too much and subsequently I was feeling exhausted. I put this solely down to trying to juggle my extremely hectic life and justified this reason as being one through being stubborn ad proud; I still believe this is true.

I have the boys for half the week and in that time I, as you know, am a Stay at Home Dad who also Home Schools. This is great fun and I wouldn’t change the time I have with the boys or the choice to Home School.
Around this I also work a variety of Jobs. I am a Part time Music Teacher; teaching the Piano and the Guitar. I also work as a tutor for a range of subjects and Pupils.

To then pick up that extra bit of money up I am Quiz master at a local pub; which I thoroughly enjoy.
I somehow manage to juggle all of this together and the normal tedious adult activities like housekeeping etc.

I honestly don’t know how I do and do it all by myself; especially if you consider my disability.
(I am still single and to be honest plan to stay that way for a while, subsequently I don’t have that extra body around to help when I need it)

The problem is that I have the boys over a 4 day period and longer if it happens to be one of the rare weeks.
I work near enough solidly for 2 days. So that only really gives one day to rest. The thing is that is when I do my housework, organising and blogging; albeit reading, writing, commenting and social media interaction. (Although I still manage to fit all of this in during the week too)

So as stated at the beginning it is too much and I am burning myself out.
Mentally and Physically I am feeling it; the latter mostly. I am becoming slightly more unstable on my feet, everything is feeling like extra effort and to top it off I have the pain. Oh the pain!

I get to bed time and I am left exhausted but when it comes to sleep I am having to take extra medication as well as having cream to rub over my muscles to help relieve part of the pain that I am.
This has been the case for months. I push and push and do everything that I can but why?

I said above, and in the previous post, that this is down to my pride and being stubborn. Take that point away and I still get left with the question, why?
A few people over Twitter, Facebook and on this very blog told me that I need to stop and slow down; find the balance and remember that I need to look after myself. It needed to be said and I needed to listen.

So it came to Friday, the one day of the week that I don’t have the boys of work, the day where I do everything else.
This time though I did very little. I worked on the things that needed to be done and then I rested. It was a real eye opener and the main reason was because it really didn’t help!
I was exhausted all day.

It is now Saturday Evening and although I have worked this morning I am just about feeling human again.
When did it take a full day and a half for me to rest and recover?

I know my disability and I know what happens and will happen but unless I have done something extremely physical I have never needed to recover this much.
This, in itself, was the eye opener.

With this I have decided that I will make every Friday a rest day and hopefully find some balance and cut back a little; before this burns me out totally.  
It has taught me just how much I am doing and how important looking after myself is.


Lucy Howard said...

Oh Martyn, I am so glad that you are going to take a step back and look after yourself more. It is so hard to do though. I am my own worst enemy. But every now and then life catches up with me and I need to just be. Rest and relaxation are an important part of life. Needing to look after yourself is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, you should be proud that you have recognised that this is an important factor of your life. Take care of yourself. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

Martyn Kitney said...

Thanks Lovely! I think sometimes it's needed, disabled or not, otherwise, as you say, it catches up on you. Thank you, it was a wake up call one I will remember!

Hannah said...

So glad you're carving a day out for yourself, not only do your boys need you you need to feel your best else it drags you down doesn't it. Hope you stick with it *waggles finger*

Martyn Kitney said...

Thank you. I think o need people like you to wag their finger at me from time to time so I don't over do ot for the reasons you've said.