Finally realised I needed Rest!

Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t been about for the last few days. Usually this is down to a mental health problem and I need to hide away and gather myself together. However, this time it wasn’t the case.

I posted recently that I have been doing too much and subsequently I was feeling exhausted. I put this solely down to trying to juggle my extremely hectic life and justified this reason as being one through being stubborn ad proud; I still believe this is true.

I have the boys for half the week and in that time I, as you know, am a Stay at Home Dad who also Home Schools. This is great fun and I wouldn’t change the time I have with the boys or the choice to Home School.

Around this I also work a variety of Jobs. I am a Part time Music Teacher; teaching the Piano and the Guitar. I also work as a tutor for a range of subjects and Pupils.

To then pick up that extra bit of money up I am Quiz master at a local pub; which I thoroughly enjoy.

I somehow manage to juggle all of this together and the normal tedious adult activities like housekeeping etc.

I honestly don’t know how I do and do it all by myself; especially if you consider my disability.

(I am still single and to be honest plan to stay that way for a while, subsequently I don’t have that extra body around to help when I need it)

The problem is that I have the boys over a 4 day period and longer if it happens to be one of the rare weeks.

I work near enough solidly for 2 days. So that only really gives one day to rest. The thing is that is when I do my housework, organising and blogging; albeit reading, writing, commenting and social media interaction. (Although I still manage to fit all of this in during the week too)

So as stated at the beginning it is too much and I am burning myself out.

Mentally and Physically I am feeling it; the latter mostly. I am becoming slightly more unstable on my feet, everything is feeling like extra effort and to top it off I have the pain. Oh the pain!

I get to bed time and I am left exhausted but when it comes to sleep I am having to take extra medication as well as having cream to rub over my muscles to help relieve part of the pain that I am.

This has been the case for months. I push and push and do everything that I can but why?

I said above, and in the previous post, that this is down to my pride and being stubborn. Take that point away and I still get left with the question, why?

A few people over Twitter, Facebook and on this very blog told me that I need to stop and slow down; find the balance and remember that I need to look after myself. It needed to be said and I needed to listen.

So it came to Friday, the one day of the week that I don’t have the boys of work, the day where I do everything else.

This time though I did very little. I worked on the things that needed to be done and then I rested. It was a real eye opener and the main reason was because it really didn’t help!
I was exhausted all day.

It is now Saturday Evening and although I have worked this morning I am just about feeling human again.

When did it take a full day and a half for me to rest and recover?

I know my disability and I know what happens and will happen but unless I have done something extremely physical I have never needed to recover this much.

This, in itself, was the eye opener.

With this I have decided that I will make every Friday a rest day and hopefully find some balance and cut back a little; before this burns me out totally.  

It has taught me just how much I am doing and how important looking after myself is.