I am a stay at home dad, who whilst looking after the children, I also Home school my eldest.
I also work 'part time' when I can, teaching; home tutorials, piano and guitar.
I am lucky enough to have my two boys for half the week, as I have 50/50 access, and sometimes the odd months I have them for more.
Putting all of this into perspective we can conclude that I spend most of my time looking after and teaching children.
My days are centralised around engaging children.
So what about time for me?
It's difficult as I rarely get time to spend for me, in the evenings I catch up on household chores or plan for lessons (in some form) If I do get time to sit I'm usually to tired to do anything for me.
Each part of me gets wound down, I run out of energy, the problem I face is that I'm still a parent, teacher, cleaner, cook and playmate. I love my boys so wouldn't change it for the world; but how will I get time to wind myself back up and ready for the next child friendly activity? Otherwise I will just be walking around in a daze.
So once in a while I take time to do something I want to do. Adult centred.
This does take a lot of planning though! For example I spent most of last night cleaning so I could sit and relax without stressing that I'm sitting in mess and subsequently did a quick clean to satisfy my OCD tendencies.
So after I have done that, knowing that today is one of my days off, as the boys are with their mum on a Wednesday, I decided on what to do.
I am a geek, I have no shame in admitting that, as well as being a dad. So I decided that today would be a film day! So on goes Transformers: Age of extinction. This combined my need for action films as well as my in geek and to find some escapism.
It has been a good day. Something that has given me an extra little lift.
These days are important, my days, possibly like yours, are packed with children's activities, kids films or programme on repeat (more than once)
We move quickly, run between chores or work, children and anything else that happens in the week. We will burn ourselves out, stay awake worrying about something, let our everyday get in the way.
Me time is such an important act that we should all find time to do. Whatever your situation finding time to wind your motor back up. Find something you can escape into, relax, from sitting and actually enjoying a cup of tea, to watching a film or reading a book. I find being creative helps me, so I'll probably draw or play the piano. Or do a mixture of the above. Put your phone, laptop or any other electronic device that interferes with your time, away.
Make sure you find yourself some time, do it when batteries are low not when they've run out. Even if you are like me and it happens very rarely.
What do you do? Would be good to hear your suggestions.
6 comments:
Me time is really important isn't it. im a sahm my hubby works and we have one little girl whos under 2 so my life revolves around her but i do film nights too, nothing i like better than watching harry potter for the bizionth time. Or we will geek out on big bang theory or new girl. I do have the odd me time totally by myself like yesterday my nan looked after mini for an hour so i could pop into town by myself. Getting that hour to browse christmas decorations and do some errands without a buggy was lovely. Like you say just recharges you. I adore my little girl and love every minute with her but a hour to yourself is always nice :)
It really is and am glad you agree. I tried to be super dad and do it all, but truth be told I was burning out so quickly. At places I was running on autopilot and just losing my identity slightly. It only hit home one evening when I put a film on pause that the boys were watching, bathed, read and put them to bed and pressed play and watched the end of the film like it was normal! At that point I realised I needed to focus a little bit on myself.
Even if it is the odd hour here or there. I wouldn't change my time with my boys, I do adore them, but sometimes we all need reminding to take a break.
Having a teen who is just finding his independence means things are a bit easier for me. I am trying crochet at the moment but so far i'm rubbish, haha.
My two are still far to little, even if they want their independence, but they are starting in places to help out.
I've tried crochet and I couldn't get it. Ha. I'm good at knitting and knit a mean jumper, but just could get crochet. Lol
Me time is definitely very important. I like what you say about doing it when your batteries are low and not when they have run out.. it's so common to do so much you totally burn out and then a me day barely does enough to recharge you.
I have trouble shutting off my brain though, and even when i should be relaxing I'm thinking about/ feeling guilty about all of the things I really should be doing!
Hi Lauren, thanks for commenting. Glad you agree that it's important. Too many times, even now, that I ignore my own advise and do so much that I burn out but sometimes it can't be helped.
It takes a lot of organising to get a me time day or my brain doesn't shut off either. Sometimes though you just have to say enough is enough and do it anyway. The biggest thing though is the guilt! Feel so guilty sometimes about doing something for me.
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