As I've mentioned in previous posts, my parenting style has changed dramatically over the last 6 years. What I expected parenting to be like and actually what I do is massively different. Yet for some reason I apologise all the time for what the boys do and act like.
I suppose for some people I came across as a 'hippy' or I'm too 'gentle'.
The boys are 5 and 3 and act in all purposes like boys. They get over excited or might be a tad bit rough.
If, for example, the boys start playing up in a social situation I will tend to talk to them about what they're doing and explain what is right or wrong. If they continue to do whatever they're doing they sit, depending where they are, and think for their given time (naughty step if at home) to calm down and reflect on their behaviour and the majority of the time this works.
But I have in the past been told that I need to be harder and stricter with them but it's just not in my nature or parenting style to do so.
Most of the time the boys aren't actually being bad but I've got in the habit of apologising for them when ultimately they're just being themselves and following the set up I've presented to them.
The truth is this though it has nothing to do with the boys but more about me. I apologise for their behaviour because I know people judge me on my parenting style especially because I'm a dad and a single stay at home dad.
Ultimately I'm happy with how I do things and am proud of how they are so I need to stop apologising for their behaviour because of my own worries that others will judge me on my parenting style.
Do any of you apologise for your child's behaviour? Why do you do it? Do people judge or question your parenting style?
5 comments:
I'm glad you've decided to stop apologising, it sounds like you're doing a great job. Male or female, looking after two kids on your own is tough.x
Thanks Natalie. I'm doing my best and that's all that counts. I think I'm use to comments from others to the point that I automatically now apologise but now decided that my best is good enough and the boys will be boys. So no more apologising ☺
It's a difficult one, this. Even though my little one is one, I have apologised, at least on one occassion I remember, for something he did. I suppose we have certain expectations of how we want our children to relate with those outside our home and as such feel obliged to say sorry to those people when our expectations are not met. It's so interesting, isn't it. I'm going to watch myself more from now on the 'apologising for my child's behaviour' front and reflect on why I make any apologies if I do. :-) Thanks for getting me thinking about it.
Thanks for commenting! It definitely a difficult one. On the occasions mine have been naughty I've always apologised for their behaviour. It's the moments that they're not really doing anything that I need to correct myself. I think you're right though it's our level of expectations within that situation that might keep up apologising possibly unnecessarily. Glad it got you thinking!!
Parenting is hard full stop and it's difficult to know what is right or wrong in a given situation. I am now far enough down the parenting road not to be too phased about what others think. You know your children better than anyone and should do what you feel is right. You're not going to please everyone all of the time so just please yourself, lol. Good luck, don't be too hard on yourself and enjoy your time with your boys! Take care, K-A
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