Childism: An excuse for wild Children?

I was asked recently if I had heard of Childism; I had heard about it so I answered yes but I knew nothing about it. I have, since, been reading many articles about it and thought I would take some time to talk about it because it has left me in a bit of a confused state.

So what is Childism?

Childism is based on the idea that children are people too; we should, therefore, always try to see things from their perspective when interacting with them. We should look and treat children as our equals and respect them as we would respect another adult.  

We would instantly stop the old habit of “because I said so” and “I am your Parent, you do as I say and not what I do”.         

 (Not that I particularly say these things; hopefully you get the point)

We are, ultimately, following the scheme that we let children be children but at the same time allow them free range of experiences and respect them through their choices.

As I explained in a previous post about arguing children are told what to do all day by adults, whether it’s getting ready for school, following the teachers instructions, doing homework or participating in adult-led after school activities. They see other adults telling each other what to do and see that one has to usually comply and compromise. They clearly want to be in on the action and according to Childism we should let them.

Subsequently; when we give them respect and treat them like adults we allow a larger amount of opportunities to experience. We could see this as putting a child who loves Lego into a Lego store and say you’ve got 4 hours make, play and do what you want.

However; like any good Ism out there you will find a counter Ism: adultism

Adultism, I feel, is far easier to understand:

It is the idea that adults know best and children should just do what they are told.

This raises a lot of questions in my mind:

·         Is our society expecting too much from our children?

·         Are we expecting them to fit into a ritualistic scheme too early on?

·         At which point will Children be, consequently, running wild?

·         Do we, as adults, know best through our experiences?

·         And finally; can we as parents respect our Childs free will and give them equality within situations?

There are moments where I do feel that we, as a society, do expect too much too early on within the Childs development. As a teacher and as a parent, especially one who Home Educates, there are moments where I question the concept of schooling before the age of 7. I have seen the negative affect of pushing a child into an educational setting before they are emotionally ready. I have, however, seen Children enter into a schooled environment filled with routine and flourish at the opportunity.  

It does worry me that we could potentially be allowing children to grow up without any boundaries because of this. For example: A Child could want to get their colouring pencils and want to draw up the wall. Do we let them? If we are meant to respect their free will and treat them with the power that adults have then they should be able to. But is that right?

We could argue with the above example that if we would listen to the Childs want to draw on the walls, that we respect that as their decision and, therefore, offer an alternative. We would in that situation come to a compromise. My compromise would be to not draw on the wall but maybe draw on some paper; even better if it is nice sunny days then we can go outside and draw on the path with chalk.

But what if a compromise isn’t reached?

This is my biggest concern: I wouldn’t, personally, want the walls in the house to be drawn on. I would sit and listen to the child’s want and suggest fun and alternative options; what if that didn’t work? My first instinct would be “they are not drawing on the walls, I have given the child alternatives, they have refused so they need to stick to the boundaries in place” But that makes a real case for adultism.

I know though that there are rules and regulations put into place that I would want to inform my children about and I would make sure that no other alternative was an option.

Examples like: Playing with Fire, Crossing the road, Violence towards others and Stealing.

I see these as fundamental rules and values that we, as a society, should stick by. If, however, we follow Childism we should allow them to learn from experiences and treat them as an adult; an adult could easily disobey the above through their own choice but they are subsequently running the risk of consequences, ones that can receive punishments, but from my understanding because we have given them that choice we do not punish their decision. I am aware though that these are extremes but what about manners, bullying, discrimination and health or cleanliness?

We as adults set boundaries for safety and do so through guiding and engaging to what we have learnt. Childism seems to provide that children learn and teach themselves through experiences with adult any adult influence.

I think then this has left me with confusion. I can see the benefits from both sides and would hope that I would, as a parent, be somewhere in the middle. I would like to think that I would consciously sit and listen to my children and that I would value their opinions and their emotions. I would also like to think that I would teach them right from wrong and set boundaries for them through it.

Are you controlling or empowering children? Are you making decisions for them or letting them learn by making their own? Do you think that giving Children equality would allow them to run wild?

**PLEASE NOTE: I have explored Childism as part of Parenting; the movement of Childism that supports children's rights against abuse, in any form, is something that I will always support. Children are  human beings who have the right to say what happens to their bodies; physical or otherwise.**