Last few weeks I have done a few posts on Mental Health and
subsequently I felt that I need to do an update on what’s going on:
My moods have been a complete rollercoaster if I am brutally
honest!
After that assessment that I spoke about here I did spiral
quite low and a few things happened; I got into an emotional slump that has
been difficult to shift but my personality disorder also flared again. One of its
main triggers is feeling helpless in a situation with nowhere to find focus; I
would hope for those who read the post can understand why I was feeling like
this.
This being said I didn’t give up!
Last Thursday I went to the Doctors and she tweaked my
medication which at the moment hasn’t quite set in but I am sure that it will
soon. She assured me that when the assessment letter came back to me that she
would appeal but knowing what these letters are like that might take a while.
By Friday the personality flares kicked off quite badly and
shortly after one of them I decided that I needed to vent it somewhere. In
doing so I phoned the centre that had assessed me; they kindly told me that I
was, as most people who go there, assigned a care support worker to discuss
things with.
I can tell you that I wasn’t happy and that I was quite
irrational and aggressive on the phone! Can you blame me?
Now although she was wonderful and calmed me down she did
say that it being Friday afternoon that there was very little that she could do
but she will chase up my account and assessment details and pencilled me in on
Monday. Grrr…… How annoying!
Monday came but not soon enough; I, over the weekend, was getting worse with
the personality disorder but I had also started to have trouble keeping it in
and controlling it and was, in places, taking it out on people (Sorry guys…you
know who you are)
When I did manage to speak to her again she wasn’t very
reassuring but did agree to meet me this coming Wednesday.
What I do have is some good news for you!
She didn’t understand why I was left in the situation after
the assessment and why I was told the previous things.
I have a meeting coming up at some point with a Doctor who will
look at my current medication and properly asses and diagnose my Mental Health.
From that meeting I have several options available to me:
1. A programme called Steps which is a 26 week course as a
group that will help look at my emotions and feelings and how to control them.
By the sounds of it the course will be structured and I will have “work” to do
along the way. (I know very little about this but will keep you updated)
2. There is a group locally that helps people with
Personality Disorders so within that they might be able to help with specific
things.
3. Psychological therapy; from what I remember, I could be
wrong, that this could either happen one to one or as a small group.
These are great options and something that I can now focus
on and not feel so abandoned by the system; I would personally like to have
option 3 because I think it would be great to use the other two but feel that
they’re aimed at more managing life with a personality disorder rather than
trying to resolve issues.
My mental health was put as an analogy this week which I felt
fitted quite well:
“You have been walking around for two years with a broken
leg and instead of putting it in a cast to help mend it they’re telling you
that it’s definitely broken but they won’t help you. They can offer you the odd
crutch to use but ultimately you still need a chance for that bone to heal”
This pretty much did sum up a few things; how I look at the
above options are similar to that analogy. I see points 1 and 2 as good ‘crutches’
something for me to lean on. Yet I see option 3 as more of a fix.
None of this though means that there will be a quick fix or
that I will turn down any of the suggestions or options if offered to me; what I
am seeing now though is another target to push towards, even if I do feel
drained, low and depleted, this is something I can go forward with.
The next few weeks, or more, will be tough and I do have a
lot of maintaining to do but this is definitely a good start.
Before I go I did just want to say thank you for all the support
that you guys have given to me either on or off of here I do really appreciate
it and felt so overwhelmed with love and well-wishes.
As always I will keep
you updated.
15 comments:
That's great news Martyn, well done for persisting and getting them to do something. I hope that you soon get the real help that you need.
That's great news Martyn. I hope you get the help you need mate. Glad to see you're looking for the positives, Oliver will be impressed
Excellent news, at last things may be moving the right direction. I hope the next few days are easier than the last and the ones after that even better :)
Thank you Natalie and for all of your support. Let's hope that it happens soon for me.
Thanks Tommy! Lol glad Oliver will be impressed. Let's hope I get that help soon.
Thank you Ashley! And for all of your support.
Thanks Alan. Very much appreciated.
Stay positive and don't take no for an answer if a doctor is brushing you off. See is time and time again over here, it's complete b.s.
Great news options for you at last! Keep us posted on how you get on xx
It's a shame that it took such drastic action for them to listen but at least you are getting somewhere now. Fingers crossed for the future x
Thanks for commenting Gary! It is ridiculous! I'm trying to do what I can. :)
Thanks Sarah. Will keep you updated and thanks for the support.x
Thanks for commenting Natalie! it is a shame but I did what I must I really couldn't face no as an answer! Thanks for the support.x
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