My dad recently had surgery to sort out his hernia; with him
being out of action the boys and I have been spending more time at his to
clean, tidy and help him out where possible. However, being there again this week has made
me reflect on the positives of moving to a fully adapted flat.
The family home, where I lived with dad for 3 years after
mum passed, is a detached 2 story property that was designed by my parents in
the early 60s. With the style and age of the house a few features made it
difficult for me to live comfortably there. Examples of these are large steps
in and out of the property, going upstairs and an inaccessible kitchen and
bathroom.
I lived and survived there because I knew that I had to stay
and care for my dad. However, the older the boys got the more it seemed to
become apparent that I needed help to care for them and do everyday activities.
Some would see this as a decline in my physical health and
this does have some part in it. Yet, there is also the aspect that the house
itself was creating large barriers.
About 16 months ago I had a wakeup call and I realised that,
at this time, I don’t need a carer but I was living in an environment that was
having a negative effect on me; that’s when I decided that I needed to move.
The difficulty in finding a property that suited my
individual disability was hard and tedious; the real crucial feature was an adapted bathroom. I did need hand
rails around the property and an accessible kitchen but the basic and smaller
every day activities like washing and going to the toilet were my main concern.
I needed to have a bathroom that had a supported toilet, a
bath for the boys and a walk in shower.
Without these I could see the idea of living independently
and maintaining just basic hygiene restricted; everything else I could manage.
A walk in shower was the main point.
My dad’s house had a shower but it wasn’t a walk in and
actually had a step up to it. This was a nightmare for me; wet feet, tiled
floor, soap everywhere and then you had to also consider my disability. I have
weakened balance, low muscle strength and twitching so you would find me, more often
than not, in a ball, upside down doing some kind of yoga position within the
enclosed cubical.
Finding, therefore, a wet room with a resistant nonslip flooring,
a shower with handles on either side to hold onto if I twitch, a shower head on
a moveable pole to help washing with ease, a shower console with good grip
controls to help with muscle strength and importantly a drainage system that
removes a higher percentage of water, at a quicker rate than a cubicle would,
would be a difficult task.
To be honest, at dads, I would only have one shower a week
and the rest of the time I would wash myself from a sink as it was the only
safe and independent way to keep clean.
The move has been great; the boys have seen a greater
independence on my part but also a safer and secure environment. They have also
seen that I can take care of myself and it has actually allowed us to improve
our daily home educating lifestyle.
My everyday struggles will obviously continue but in many
ways having the move and finally have independence from adult support showed
the boys that I can live a life without restrictions of a disability.
They see me more energised and ready for each day because I
am ultimately safer in the environment.
This also shows the presence of reinforced understanding
that is breaking
barriers of what society is showing them.
The idea for me to be reliant on someone else was humiliating
and depressing but the subsequent move has seen a revitalising response to all
of our lives. I suppose I hadn’t really noticed how much I was restricted or
how much that an adapted bathroom and wet would impact our lives.
It really shows how these adaptions can influence people’s
lives, of any age and ability, in a positive way.
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