There has been a lot of change around within our little flat
this last month.
Since Ben moved into help us where my disability is
progressively difficult, as well as it benefitting him, the layout and space of
the flat has changed.
We live in a 2 bed flat with accessible bathroom and kitchen
and one more room which we use as a lounge. Up until now I had a bedroom, the
boys had the other and we had the lounge as our communal area. However, since
accepting Ben to move in we potentially needed an extra bedroom that wasn’t
here.
It soon became apparent that I needed my own personal space
where I could shut the door, relax, decompress and form some secluded respite.
Yet, it also became apparent that both the boys and Ben deserved this too.
The plan was to move Ben into the second bedroom and the
boys to move into the lounge creating a lounge/bedroom.
Although William and James are here over 4 days they only actually sleep here twice a week and 2 more times within the month. It didn’t seem that difficult or unreasonable for both Ben and I to seek refuge in our separate rooms on those nights and then use it as a lounge on the opposing ones.
Although William and James are here over 4 days they only actually sleep here twice a week and 2 more times within the month. It didn’t seem that difficult or unreasonable for both Ben and I to seek refuge in our separate rooms on those nights and then use it as a lounge on the opposing ones.
Everything seems to be working quite well but we do have one
dilemma.
The lounge now has 2 distinct personalities. Along one side
we have the sofa and table that is aimed towards the TV as a central point.
Then on an opposite corner we have a large bunk bed with children’s bedding,
child designed storage and toys.
(Excuse the mess)
My flat is undoubtedly a bachelor pad and even more so a den
of boys! I am unashamedly geeky and within that I have collections of geeky
figurines on display, books and graphic novels and even memorabilia within my
room!
There are also a few geeky things spread throughout the flat
like our Hogwarts sign and a comic book canvas in the hallway. Yet, apart from
these small areas, and the isolation of my room, the flat is fairly neutral;
even if “boyish” in colours.
After realising that the boys have been living in a neutral room
with mix identities but both Ben and I had personalised spaces it made me
question if I should personalise it more to suit them; create a comfortable den
for when they are here opposed to a non-specific room that they just sleep in.
But, what should I do? Should I make the whole room
cosmetically for them?
This is where I become a little stuck. I am quite tempted to
go and buy a colourful rug, upcycle some old furniture with superhero wallpaper
and buy some blinds from the company Velux as their Disney
collection would really suit both of the boy’s current interests.
I believe that everyone should feel comfortable and have a
place that is their own and I want this for the boys.I just don’t want them to feel uncomfortable. I want their bedroom to be used as a resting place where they can relax and sleep through the night, a place where they get a sense of belonging, a place they can go off and decompress if they need to and become a place where they can play and enjoy their toys and activities.
What would you do? Would you change everything or just
create more appropriate presence within a split personality room?
Having and adult here to help me out during the week is
necessary but I still want to focus on making William and James feel like this
is their home.
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