Some moments change you, without you even realising how significant they’ll become. This happened to me in the summer of 2017, when a small girl looked up at me during a visit to Kent and asked if she could call me “Dad.”
I’d only met her a few times. Hannah and I were still figuring out what our new family might look like. Yet, Midge reached out with a courage that still amazes me today.
I didn’t say yes. Not because I didn’t want to. She just had a dad already, even if he wasn’t showing up and being present in the ways she needed. Despite this, I wanted to respect that. So I told her I could happily be her very loving stepdad.
She didn’t miss a beat. Neither did Hannah who said, “Let’s call you Maddy”— Martyn‑Daddy.
Nine years later, she still calls me that. Every time she does, it lands in my chest with the same warmth it did that day.
From the beginning, Midge has had this way of looking at me that I’ll never forget. In the photos below, she’s doing a science experiment, looking up at me with awe, love, and a kind of reverence that melted my heart. I treasure that photo. It’s the moment I realised she accepted me into her life, and choosing me to be her dad fully.
Then there’s the below picture from Harry Potter Studios later that year. As we took typical tourist photos, one stands out: her head against my arm, her arm wrapped around mine, completely safe with me. Another love filled photo that embodies our bond and relationship.
Over the years, we’ve collected so many of those moments. The looks we give each other when someone says something ridiculous. The way we can’t make eye contact in certain situations without laughing. Her wicked, unhinged cackle (which she absolutely inherited from me). Tiny, beautiful moments that have woven us together.
She may not be my blood, but she is my daughter.
I won’t pretend the journey has been easy. Her biological dad has been a source of deep hurt for years — the broken promises, lies, emotional manipulation, dismissal and ignorance, while twisting narratives to suit himself, like trying to turn her brother against her. Making her feel small when she deserved support.
It’s painful. No child deserves that.
What amazes me and fills me with pride, is how she rises above it.
She’s shown a strength beyond her age. While he said she wasn’t trying enough, she travelled from Kent to Nottingham for training, building skills, and getting work experience. He hadn’t earned the right to know.
Within weeks of finishing that training, she got a Christmas job at Tesco. She did that. Through tears, stress, and the weight of someone who should have been cheering her on but instead chose to tear her down. Hannah and I, however, couldn’t have been happier or prouder.
That resilience, determination, and refusal to give up…that’s her.
She’s one of the kindest souls I’ve ever known. Sensitive, loving, caring —doing anything for anyone. Midge tries so hard, even when the world feels stacked against her. Education, friends, family, and health, she still pushes on. She’s working on her driving theory with determination, despite multiple setbacks. She’s applying for jobs, attending interviews, even at one as I write this, doing everything she can to build her future.
Then there’s church. She leads youth services, helps with kids’ work, does youth alpha, and supports me whenever she can.
She battles social anxiety, yet shines through. She’s funny, warm, and full of a dark humour that mirrors my own. She is such a strong, independent, compassionate young woman.
Midge, you are 18. Stepping into adulthood with courage, kindness, and a heart that has already weathered a lot. You’ve never let it harden or stop you. You’ve grown into someone extraordinary.
I am proud to be your Maddy. The dad you chose. You are and will always be my daughter—by love, choice, every shared laugh, and quiet moment.
Happy 18th birthday.
I love you lots.
Us at 28 Years Later: Bone Temple as a Birthday present.
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