Hope In Darkness - Mental Health

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advise, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."

 

Henri Nouwen

 

There is a saying the goes "a problem shared is a problem halved", what an annoying saying, it never seems to be true for me; this is only true if the problem shared is a problem that can be resolved through it. Or to put it slightly differently; a burden shared can be a burden doubled. But sharing is so difficult because so many things, even in this modern world, are deemed as topics we keep behind closed doors. Mental Health issues is one of them. Even though statistics show the One in 3 of us suffer, in some form, with it.

There use to be an advert on the TV in the U.K where you would see a Donkey looking tired and worn out. On the back of the Donkey you see that he has a specially designed saddle that helps him carry the load.
 
A load consisting of Bricks.

More than you would expect a human to carry. It is portrayed that the Donkey is tired, slow and affected by the heat of the sun. The Donkey Collapses. And the truth then is that the Donkey is killed.

This incredibly sad scene is meant to advertise that we should help these animals and support the Charity.

Ultimately the advert just shows a horrible and harsh, but realistic truth.

So then what happens to the Donkeys portion of work? I would again assume that it is equally shared out to other Donkeys. The employers of these Donkeys are still running their business, with their deadlines. So, possibly, to complete the job on time, other Donkeys would take on a heavier load and pick up the slack of the sick Donkey.

We do this all the time, we take on more and more, carrying a heavy load is one thing, but carrying it for a distance is another. Or whilst we are carrying our heavy load we help someone else out and carry an even heavier load.

But what happens if we pick up to much? or if we suddenly get another weighted amount to put on top of our load?

Sooner or later we break.

Yet there is so much stigma with mental health and showing that you are having difficulty that, for some unknown reason, it is shown as being weak. My only understanding is that it is a invisible illness one that can not be justified with a "quick fix". Some people would just frankly give up on us and deem us useless, just like the poor Donkey in the advert.

The thing is I understand Mental Health, Depression and PTSD, I have lived through many things, and entered a Nervous breakdown and survived it and subsequently come out stronger (even if it took me a few years to do so)

But the truth is that just because someone may stumble, fall and lose their way, it doesn't mean they are lost or injured forever. It may feel like that and is sometimes seen in society that it is the truth but it isn't.

The truth is everyone is afraid, afraid of what they cannot see.

But it's not really our suffering and pain that they are afraid of, its theirs. In side ourselves we fight the idea of being deemed weak, why? because we are afraid, we are living in a world, a society lead by fear. As frightening and challenging that it might be the truth is that it will make you stronger. It doesn't seem it at the time but you must allow yourself to feel it, embrace it, do not hide away from it because of labels associated with it.

Truthfully, the greatest gift we have, is to bear our pain and survive, to help others bear their pain, because our strength is hidden inside us, we are not given anything that will truly break us, so to carry it even in a weakened position shows our true strength.

It is the one thing that makes us so different from animal, our emotions, our empathy, our true human part.

Hope.

In the areas of darkness in our lives, hope is the light. We need to look beyond where we are, look after ourselves and hope again. Hope for a better tomorrow and a hope of renewed strength and well-being.

You are not alone. You are not weak. You are stronger than you think and just focus on the renewed hope and in doing so you will see that it isn't a sign of weakness it is just a sign that you've been carrying an extremely heavy load and it is time for a rest.

Its time for us to start facing it differently its time to #changeyourstory