Parenting James: Learning Again, Living With Trauma, and What the Diagnosis Really Means

James has been with his new tutor for three weeks. We didn’t know how it would go. He spent the weekend before the first session begging me to cancel it. His anxiety was through the roof. He didn’t want to go back to anything that looked or sounded like school.

We didn’t cancel. We adjusted. We started at 10am instead of 9.30am so he had space to breathe. That shift made the difference. He met G. They talked. They found a rhythm and lesson interests. She explained that learning didn’t have to be at a table, actively involving worksheets, or be the rigid routine that broke him. They could go out, explore, and learn in the world. Whatever sparked his interest. Lessons, resources, and routines all built around him. 

Parenting James: The Long Awaited ASD and ADHD Diagnosis

 

James has always been bright, funny, creative, expressive, mischievous, troublesome and mouthy, but “different”. He never needed fixing. He just needed micromanaging. He was never purposefully naughty, despite often finding himself in trouble. For the school, it was always labelled as behavioural.

As an ex-teacher, qualified in child development and psychology, and someone who knows our son’s true character, I knew there was an underlying cause outside of behavioural issues. Nevertheless, a question mark always hovered above him.

That was until this month. 

Why I’m Seeking an ASD Assessment

 

Having a disability like mine means I understand my body well. My brain, however, is a different story.

A map was drawn in 2012. In 2011 everything collapsed. My disability diagnosis changed. My marriage and my work ended. My community disappeared. Debt followed. Drinking increased, a lot.

Then 2012 arrived. 

A Positive Start

Back to school has pretty much happened for everyone now.

I’ve seen everyone have very mixed feelings about the kids going back.

Me? 

I’m not that bothered. 

It stops with me!

We had a phone call recently that’s not only been niggling at me for a couple of months but it was an outcome that has haunted me for the last 10 years.

It wasn’t long before we knew we were expecting William that we found out that my health condition had been misdiagnosed.

I had gone 12 years with a misdiagnosed condition; I now had Facioscapulohumeral Muscular Dystrophy.

A genetic condition that would eat away at my muscles.

James' Stammer - 'Making Meaning'

James has always struggled with his speech.

When he started combining words together he always seemed pretty fine with his communication. However, this last year when he’s been using more complex sentences he has a tendency to stammer.

It’s not a stutter though because he can clearly pronounce his words and his sounds. What he does though is get caught up on a word; he will start off his sentence with the odd few words “Daddy can I have a…” and then he will repeat the word ‘a’ over and over again until he is then comfortable to use the following word.

I know that this is just something that happens to him, as well as other children, at his age.  (4 next month)

William's rare mouth!

I was having a conversation last night about William’s rare mouth and through the discussion it was reminded that it was an interesting, even though rare, thing so thought I would take time to discuss it.

Review - Head Lice - Hedrin

Coming off of the back of a post that I did last November on the boys having Head Lice I was contacted by Hedrin asking if I was interested in reviewing so of their products.

 

The timing of this was perfect as the Boys, once again, had contracted them. I believe that this was down to the fact that a new term has started and James has started going back to Nursery.

 

If, like me, it is common to have Head Lice circulate, as my frequently asked questions states, because children become more prone to catching them  especially within settings with a large number of children.

I received four different products from Hedrin:

Head Lice - Frequently asked Questions

School term is well under way again, which is good in so many ways, but this can also mean one thing for a lot of parents out there.

Head Lice

 

Once again my two have caught them. It is so frustrating as a parent; with William being Home Educated it is easy, most of the time, to assume that they have come home with James from nursery.

Whilst we went over the Christmas holidays both boys were nit free. They had been treated and we're checked and 'treated' one extra time to make sure.

3 weeks in and James, and subsequently William, has them again.

Sadly this happens to children when they're having day to day contact in settings with other children their age.

I was lucky enough, off of the back of a previous post to receive an email from the pharmaceutical company Hedrin offering me some products to review; what fantastic timing, well at least from my point of view.

How to Spot and Treat Head Lice in Children

Originally written as 'Head Lice' in November 2014 — Updated for clarity and reflection in 2026.

Recently both of my boys had head lice. William managed six years without a single case, which I'm sure was a benefit to him being home schooled, then James started a new nursery term and brought home a full colony. He passed them straight to his brother. Parenting is glamorous.