When he started combining words together he always seemed
pretty fine with his communication. However, this last year when he’s been
using more complex sentences he has a tendency to stammer.
It’s not a stutter though because he can clearly pronounce
his words and his sounds. What he does though is get caught up on a word; he
will start off his sentence with the odd few words “Daddy can I have a…” and
then he will repeat the word ‘a’ over and over again until he is then
comfortable to use the following word.
I know that this is just something that happens to him, as
well as other children, at his age. (4
next month)
He is at the point when he is surrounded by and fully taking
in the variety of words that are used in our language. Each word is heard,
enjoyed, absorbed and then stored up in his little mind; once a bank of words
is then created he then has the added part of when and how each word is used.
I have mentioned in several posts previously that children
at the toddler age have observed this power struggle within their homes and
within society. There is always a hierarchy between adults albeit within a
relationship, work or social even if we are unaware of it at times.
Toddlers at this point see the success in communicating and
understand that by using the correct word that they can influence others. A
brilliant example is when a child adds lots of passive words to a sentence “I
was thinking, that maybe, if I have been really good and that if it was ok with
you, that you might consider if…..” rather than “Can I have this?”
When I studied at university for Early Childhood Studies and
then later with aspects of Speech therapy there was a phrase branded round that
I only recently remembered “Making Meaning”
This concept is about understanding and being understood;
they are beginning to understand that they can influence other people by the
way they interact, saying ‘please’ and at a later stage, something William is
rather good at, negotiating through words and gestures. Ultimately that you are
acknowledging the Childs voice is heard and then in doing this you are allowing
your child to have their individual voice; you are valuing their opinion and
their views.
What frustrates me is my Father’s interaction with James;
the moment James starts stammering and getting stuck on a particular word my
Dad tells him off.
(I am aware that my Dad is of a particular age where having
a stammer was ‘Knocked’ out of you so I appreciate that it’s like talking to a
brick wall but it still angers me that he loses his patience)
James instantly reverts back into himself and actually
forgets, or at least avoids, saying what he was going to say.
What I have been trying to convey to my Dad is this:
Communication is Two-Way: when having a conversation with
someone it is usually two-way. How frustrating do we find it when we are
speaking and we know the person listening isn’t paying attention to our words?
Children are the same; take time to listen and respond or allow enough time for
the child to respond to what you have asked them.
With James I use a lot of songs and nursery rhymes; in
theory by repeating and joining in with songs or rhymes young children begin to
master complex patterns or sounds and are able to insert missing words when you
leave one out. This should then help James to think of the word that is coming next
and formulate the sentence better.
Ultimately I want James to feel comfortable enough to begin
to share his thoughts and feelings with others as well as myself and to
question and describe what he wants.
Did or do your children trip up on their words? Did you do
anything to help?
11 comments:
My eldest (7) has a stammer that started when he was 3. Some weeks it's very noticeable and others it calms down. It's worse when he is tired, upset or excited. We try and speak slowly to him and get down on his level. Make eye contact so that he knows we are listening. He gets frustrated by it and is aware that he does it so talking about it helps. We are currently trialling special time with him and he sees a speech therapist termly. It's frustrating to watch your child struggle. I hope your little boy improves x
Thanks for commenting. James is exactly the same. Some weeks or days are better than others and, the same as you, it depends on what's happening and how he's feeling. Eye contact is always good I also make sure I give him plenty of time to finish what he's saying. James is still too young to get frustrated by it or at leat that he can verbally say so. Sometimes you see his little face scrunch up when he's stuck. I agree it's exceedingly frustrating to see them do it. One thing that use to annoy me was when parents would finish the child's sentence but now with James doing it I can see sometimes why people would. But I realise that doesn't benefit him in the long run.
I certainly didn't notice when we met and ultimately I can't think of a better teacher than you my friend. Big hi to James from us :)
Thanks Al. Because of his age it's not necessarily noticeable. Some days are better than others too. Thanks....I'm sure we'll get there in the end. I said hi to James he looked blankly at me lol William on the other hand remembers Ted....think he's a little taken with him...like the rest of us are ;)
It's always tough when other adults interact in a way you don't want, especially when it is your parents. Having my mum live with us has forced me to learn that sometimes you do have to be honest with them and tell them to do things the way you want no matter what their thoughts are (although from my experience you do sometimes have to say it repeated times and again, and some more lol).
Thanks Ashley. It's frustrating with my dad. He's got onset dementia so it's constantly telling him. But in the meantime as long as James knows I'm listening that's the main thing.
This is the norm for all the youngsters isn't it? I would say that our kids plus most of the children that come over stammer too. It's just the motor planning portion developing? We do lots of speech therapy here as our youngest has Down Syndrome and it's very much about providing time and space and turn taking etc. It's very interesting to see how speech develops once you break it down. It's an incredibly complicated process and I hadn't realised really. I thought we all 'just did it!'
It is definitely something all youngsters do. But by around 4 children usually develop a great speech through motor skills. James could potentially just be delayed or he could continue to stammer. It's definitely interesting to see the process though. You're right though...taking time and space to allow ting turns is key.
Very interesting post, as your aware OB has sever SAL problems and I totally agree with how your handling it. The main thing we have found is time and patience the one thing you do not want them is their confidence. As you said he is young and it can be for a number of reasons if you feel it's starting to cause problems then a chat to a salt would help or there is a great charity called afcas who have a free helpline. Keep up the great work and those positive vibes x
I know a few years have passed since you wrote this post - how is James getting on now?
He's pretty much clear of it and when he does very occassionally do it then it's not that noticeable. If he's highly stressed or upset you do find that it comes out but it isn't everyday, all day anymore. :)
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