When it flares it’s absolutely horrid. You can’t see the
difference between right and wrong, up or down and everything becomes rather
confusing; I am not overly sure if this is for everyone but this is what it can
get like for me.
I’ve had good, consistent, mental health for the last few
months. The most interesting part, for me, is that until you have an ‘issue’
you almost forget that you had problems in the first place; out of sight is out
of mind especially if you have good things going on.
This last weekend I had a ‘blip’. In truth it was mild and
far from a serious flare up but it was enough to remind me that I have these
issues again.
Two key features in the last few weeks have highlighted and
triggered my mental health.
BritMums: Being surrounded by so many people my social
anxiety flared and I needed to take the odd time out. Physically I struggled
more than I expected and it took me quite a few days to recover; this triggered
feelings of low self-esteem that’s based around my disability.
This last weekend a couple of scenarios lead me to feeling
exactly the same.
Two weeks in a row of this and my head was racing and I was
mentally lower than I have been for a while.
Usually I check myself, think about how I’m feeling, and if
I am still struggling talk it through with someone. But who do I talk to?
Different people have different responses:
The Nice People
The nice people are the very sweet and caring people who
really want to talk to you and help you in your scenario. They may or may not
have some experiences of mental health but the best part is that they care for
you and want to make sure that you’re ok and offer a rational voice.
The Wary
The weary people are usually the ones that have seen the
negative side to mental health problems through family members etc. They have
seen the rough side and this makes them exceptionally wary of anyone who uses
the words “mental health”.
The Crazy People
These lovely people are the ones who have experienced mental
health personally. They understand some of what you are going through and they
usually accept you for who you are.
I have met the wary people a lot and to be honest I try to
avoid them if I can. If I have any flare up at all they automatically link it
to their own experiences; usually the horrible feelings they have experienced
first-hand. You automatically become tarnished as that person. Despite trying
to explain that you’re nothing like that.
Actually any explanation is a bad idea; if you say sorry
then you hear that they’ve heard it before.
Any hope to explain or redeem yourself will automatically be
met with hostility because they have seen some sort of negative cycle of nice to
bad person. “I have seen this before…” or “why are you defending it? I know
this first-hand”
The People in the nice category will always be around and I
am thankful for those people. They might not completely understand but they
care enough about you to listen and be a shoulder to cry on if need be.
On the whole I usually talk to the crazy people; they judge
me less and on the whole will always be around to listen to whatever I have to
say.
They understand what low esteem can make you feel. They also
understand that feeling of anxiety and worry. The interesting point is that although
a lot of your feelings are similar to theirs they also know that everyone is
different and subsequently accept and see the differences; this is a
contrasting point to the wary people. Everyone’s mental health is their own
journey and shouldn’t be linked with anyone else’s.
I am thankful for the crazy people this week. They have listened
to a few of my rambles and been there for me. I know that I am difficult and
can be a strain but the most uplifting part is that they understand, stick by
me and still tell me that I am amazing.
I am also thankful that I have avoided the wary people; I know
they would only down play what I am going through and see everything as a
negative.
I know mine was a blip and I hate to think of a day that it
flares up properly again. I just hope it’s a long way off, as before, and I can
continue to maintain the low problems.
One thing is for sure: Whatever happens I know I am
surrounded by enough crazy people to help me through anything.
Us crazies definitely need to stick together!
8 comments:
And us crazies will always be there. To tell each other we are crazy. :-) And remind you that you're awesome.
Yes we always will be there to help whoever. Especially to boost and support. Even if that's reminding that person that they're awesome :)
We'll always be there ! Crazy Cupcake Mumma here!
Thank you Hannah! It's good to know that people are always around to help who also understand.
Awwww Mr Kitney; thank God it was just a blip and not a flare. The interesting thing that wary folks forget is that we all have a mental health! I heard someone say this at an INSET and it took me aback. I had never thought that we all have a mental healthy. I hope you have the right people around you whenever you need them! And may the flare never happen as you manage the dips.
Good piece! :-) #PregnacyandParentsBloggerNetwork :-)
Glad it was just a blip! I blogged about my depression this week and it was very interesting that I got some of the best traffic to my blog ever, and yet no one commented. There is still such a stigma surrounding mental health issues and it's just ridiculous!
Thank you. Sadly with hindsight I suspect it was more of a flare up than a blip. But looking back now almost completely past it.
I totally agree! I get more views on mental health posts than anything else sometimes. But like you very little comments. Well done on writing about it! It's difficult but talking about it helps all involved.
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