Sunday, 30 August 2015

12 Things I wish I could do as a Dad


I am extremely lucky to be a stay at home Dad. There are many amazing reasons why it is the best part of my week; even my life.

Seeing the children grow and turn into little characters right before your eyes is something I am honoured to be a part of.

I know that I am a good dad because I do wonderful activities, trips and just general parenting, family fun with them; all of these despite any physical or mental health problems I face.

However, despite doing these things there are many aspects of being a Dad that I miss out on; not even just being a Dad but a parent all due to the fact that I have Muscular Dystrophy.

They are all little things that I am sure many people take for granted. For me though, I sit and watch others do it and do have some sadness and jealous over the fact.

Here's 12 things I wish I could do:

1. Put them on my shoulders to see over a crowd so they can watch whatever is happening. 

2. Carry them to bed when they fall asleep in the car or whilst having cuddles. 

3. Pick them up when they fall and injure themselves. 

4. Give them a piggy back ride.

5. Go on rides and fun fair activities; especially a helterskelter ride.

6. Take them to the beach. Build a sandcastle, Bury them in the sand or chase them into the Sea.

7. Play football with them. I'm sure my boys don't overly care that we don't do this but I would love to do physical outside games. 

8. Teach them to Swim, Ride a bike or Ice Skate; the latter especially as I loved it myself. 

9. Hold them in my arms for a photo.

10. Build a snowman with them. 

11. Throw them in the air and catch them. 

12. Sit on the floor and play with them. 


I know that the Boys don't notice these things. I also know that they do so much with me,  we have fun, we laugh and we experience so much that these activities shrink to nothingness for them.

Yet, for me, they are always there in the back of my mind, as I am sure other things will be as they get older. As were the little things that I couldn't do when they were Babies.

For you, lovely reader, if you're a parent then make sure you cherish these little moments. Not everyone can have something so beautiful. 

27 comments:

Unknown said...

You really have made me realise how lucky I am a fantastic post Martyn :)

Martyn Kitney said...

Thanks Nigel. I'm pleased I have. I know I do fantastic things with the boys bit I do miss the little things.

Hannah said...

You're totally right, I definetly take these things for granted. I am pleased they're getting too heavy for piggy backs though as it's not doing me any good! How often I've lofted them from a sofa or chair when sleeping to tuck them in upstairs, without ever thinking about it. Good post Martyn although I wish you didn't have to write it x

Martyn Kitney said...

Thanks Hannah. It's the little things that we forget and it's within them that we must cherish. I do soo much more with the boys and I know that they are happy and loved. It might not have been a post that I needed to write. But it was a post that I needed to highlight. Smallest moments but they are all part of being a parent.

Stevie - A Cornish Mum said...

You're an amazing Dad Mr K but I can understand how frustrating these can feel, but you do with them a lot of things non stay at home Dad's can't.
Also fairground rides make you sick, ice skating is just plain dangerous - a boy in Fin's class fell broke one of his permanent teeth and had to have 5 stitches in his lip! I still can't ride a bike ;) and it snows enough for a snowman once every 5 years or so in my part of Cornwall!
Stevie :)

Martyn Kitney said...

Thanks Stevie. I know I do a lot and a lot more than some dad's who just aren't able to.
Ha! These are all very valid points.

Unknown said...

Ah yes this has made me realise how lucky I am when I can throw my gremlin around and wrestle with her (things we do a lot!). I don't think we often think about what we can't do but gentle reminder is always good to make us feel grateful. You may not be able to be too physical with the boys but you make up for it with all the other fun stuff - days out, cooking and generally giving them your time and presence xx Thanks for hosting Martyn as always xx

Luke Strickland said...

To be honest I'm rubbish at football and even worse at ice skating! Thanks for sharing Martyn. #bigfatlinky

Unknown said...

It must be tough to be restricted by a disability. Quite a few things on that list I can't do to be fair. Bambi and I have a lot in common, especially on ice.

#bigfatlinky

Ali said...

You've made me realise just how much I take for granted, it must be so tough for you all. you sound like an amazing dad though so I can imagine you make up for it in many other ways which a dad who didn't have your struggles could do but doesn't bother. #bigfatlinky

Tracey Abrahams said...

Its so easy to take all those things for granted and there are a lot of parents out rhere who can, but simply dont bother doing many of those things. You might not be able to do these things, but from your posts its easy to see you are one hell of a great dad. #bigfatlinky

Unknown said...

Lovely, moving post. Yes, it is easy to take things for granted. (I also love to ice skate, but actually the thought of taking the girls now terrifies me - you know you're a parent when you suddenly decide fingers COULD be lost ice skating!) #bigfatlinky

JOhn Adams said...

As ever Martyn, a challenging and forthright blog post. You've written about the challenges you face with incredible skill. I shall cherish those moments and wish you could too. Thanks for hosting #BigFatLinky. Always enjoy your posts They force you to think.

Random Musings said...

It's the little things like that that people take for granted. I hope this post helps people appreciate the little things more! Thanks for hosting the #bigfatlinky
Debbie

jeremy@thirstydaddy said...

It must be very frustrating. There are things that I can't do anymore because of my back, but the next time I'm feeling down about it I will remember this post and how lucky I really am. Keep your head up buddy.

Cuddle Fairy said...

I'm sorry you can't have those experiences with your kids. People don't realize how lucky they are to be able to do those simple things. Your post is a great reminder to be grateful for what you have & what you can do. Thanks so much for hosting #bigfatlinky

Unknown said...

Great post, must be frustrating, but even without doing all of those things, you are an amazing dad, I'm sure your boys wouldn't want you any other way! :-)

Tubbs said...

But there are so many things you can do as a dad that are equally valuable and wonderful that the boys will remember when they're bigger. You look like an amazing dad from over here. Have a lovely weekend. #bigfatlinky

Unknown said...

Aw this is lovely! So sorry you can't experience that with your boys. Definitely puts things into perspective. Thanks for hosting #bigfatlinky

A Moment With Franca said...

Lovely post!! I'm sorry you have some restrictions but there are other things you can do that your kids appreciate even more, specially being around all the time. This really help me to remind me how lucky I'm to be able to do with my girls some things from your list. Thanks for sharing this. You are a great dad. #bigfatlinky

http://www.amomentwithfranca.com/

Becky said...

What a lovely post - so simply put and yet so good at making us realise how lucky we are to hold our children in our arms for pictures or carry them to bed if they fall asleep. Thank you for reminding me not to take the little things for granted - for some people they are the big things #bigfatlinky

Unknown said...

Great post Mart thanks for hosting

Mummy Fever said...

Great post - I think these are some of the things we take for granted but we make the most of what we can do with our children - like you seem to. It doesn't stop us being a little sad sometimes that there are things we can't do though #bigfatlinky

Something Crunchy Mummy said...

Great post - you are an amazing dad and I'm sure you do things not many dads do with their children because you can't do these #bigfatlinky xx

thisiswhereitisat said...

Your a bit brillant dad and you.don't things your way and o am sure your children love you.unconditionally. Though I know it is hard when a disability impares you it can pretty same frustrating X

Pickinguptoys said...

Anyone can see that you love the bones of those boys though and there's probably so many things that you do do with them that other parents don't.I'm a bugger for backing out of cooking with mine as it makes so much mess.However you embrace this kind of stuff.They'll love you just for being you so don't you think any differently x

Someone's Mum (Danielle) said...

It must be so frustrating and hard sometimes. But it is the love that is there with each of these things that is the important thing, not the acts themselves. And you have that in droves... xxx