Brotherly Love

Growing up my brother and I really wasn't that close. There's almost 4 years age difference between us and to be honest it showed in our relationship; even now as adult’s.

I was always starting school when he was just finishing and I always felt like I was entering following his impact; either good or bad.

At home you could say the same thing was happening.  I started being ready to play and engage in an activity and he had grown out of it. In many ways, despite being brothers, we livid as single children.

I have always seen this to be a benefit as we're really independent and have completely different personalities. However, I have always missed that brotherly connection I saw in others. 

We can still joke and spend time together without it being awkward but we are not close enough to see each other apart from family events, birthdays, Christmas etc.

Although the Boys were both unplanned pregnancies I was secretly quite happy that they had a close age difference of just over 2 years.

The moment James was born William was besotted with him, doting on everything about him. If he cried then William was there to ask us if James was alright and if he could do anything to help.  

James grew up quickly and the feelings between them are now mutual.

I love seeing how close they are. They happily will walk hand in hand together, play together without too many quarrels and help each other out.

I even mentioned a couple of months back that this close relationship had made the way I was teaching them both in Home School more difficult

Largely due to the fact that William was helping James rather than getting on with his own work.

When one is tired or ill the other looks after them and to be honest it is beautiful to see.

Yet, with this adorable love and friendship they are also brothers. One aspect that I didn’t expect to see was how they would equally turn on each other.

With the larger age difference my brother and I didn’t really fight. He would do the normal big brother thing of annoying me at every opportunity but I think in reality I knew my place; he was always that much bigger than me to enter into a fight and I knew, probably from a previous effort, that I would be the one to get hurt.

With William and James you will see them go from giving each other a cuddle or helping each other out to having actual fist fights!

They will literally behave unrestrainedly; hold nothing back, when each pulled no punches and aim to hurt. They will kick, punch, claw and wrestle just so they can to hurt the other.

The interesting thing here though is that you can just see that within their close ages, and their close relationship? that they just rubbed each other up the wrong way and the phrase “You always hurt the one you love” definitely defines it.

William still plays the big brother and worries when James is sick. If James is taken into hospital then he will stay awake as much as possible or cuddle in to you as tightly as he can; a real act of love and protection.

In some ways I do think that their Mum and I separating had a massive impact on their relationship too.

Over the years they have had varied days and times with the two of us; especially when access changed. Between their Mum and I the boys have moved house 7 times in the last 4 years, they have seen people come in and out of their lives, family dynamics change and have lost family members; all these things would have been massive emotional upheaval for anyone, especially for 2 boys under 6. 

One thing has stood firm though and that’s each other; the “Boys”, William and James always by each other’s side. In situations that would cause a lot of problems for some children they have been each other’s constant, rooted firmly with each other, something that I hope they will continue to have.

For now I will continue to love seeing their dynamics unfold and every year see a new brotherly connection come through; something that I felt like I missed out on.