Reclaiming me

This year has been exceedingly hard for us all.

The introduction of social services was not the welcomed help that we all expected.

I have worked with social services as a teacher and as an art therapist so I have known the good that they can do.

After almost 2 years of extreme and difficult behaviour we needed help. All of the other avenues we went down were closed off from us as they were all deemed either parenting issues or a blended family issue.

However, when you are in the midst of it you KNOW that those answers are not the problem.


You reach out for help because that’s what you should do. What you don’t expect is to have your character assassinated by so called professionals. You don’t expect to end up having to fight for what you know is right but is shutdown by narrow minded professionals. You don’t expect your physical or mental health difficulties used as a weapon against you. You definitely don’t expect to be investigated for child abuse.

As a previous post has mentioned all of that was turned around.

The difference a change in social worker or a diagnosis from an experienced paediatrician can make.

We knew the entire time the truth. We also, despite many not believing us, knew we were facing unprofessional behaviour and poor service from those who should be working with us. We knew it wasn’t a case of “not liking what they’ve got to say". It wasn’t the truth so we wasn't going to compromise.

We were lucky. We had the strength to carry on underneath the weight of the above. We sought the diagnoses that we knew the children needed and had. We also pushed with our complaints to Social Services Area Manager and found validation and vindication in our case.

A long and tiring battle and from it won some of the fights against us; well from our point of view at least!
The difficulty is how all of the above can affect you.
There was a point where my mental health was the lowest that it had been in 7 years. There was a point where carrying the burden of all the stress from the above got to me, all of us really.

There’s something about it that makes you lose a little bit of yourself along the way. You become a person who is seeking justice and managing to drag up enough strength just to make it through the day.
Despite it being a very long year we are back to having hope and happiness.

Family life is better.

Behaviour and attitude in the house is better.

Life, as it does, is on the up again.

That said, the battle, as mentioned above, has taken it’s toll on us.

With things being better and having, finally, the support we both need and deserve I want to carry on pushing further ahead.

My mental health has started to climb back up. It is amazing what reassurance and vindication can do.
Yet, it doesn’t mean that I should stop there.

Over the last 7 years I have been doing a variety of techniques that help maintain my mental health. Or, as I like to see it, maintaining “Martyn".

These techniques come is different forms. The key idea is to do something that gives you satisfaction and enjoyment. A little touch of self-care.

I would spend time playing my piano. I would take myself off, put my music on and do some drawing or painting. I would find time to read and enjoy books. I would, of course, find time to write and blog. All things that give me a certain level of release and bring self worth back.

The battle we were in didn’t allow time or energy to do the above. Yet, when it did the situation inside the house created an unhealthy environment and would stop me from taking part.

That has all changed now.

I want to take time for myself and see if I can start doing all the things that I love to do.

Myself might have got lost along the way but it didn’t die and disappear.

Now the real challenge is ahead; reclaiming who I am.