Meeting PDB

I’ve played War and Order since 2019. Throughout the last seven years some of us bounced between several realms. It started with me, “Minotaur” (now Bigwig), a guy called “Longhorn” from Texas, and a guy called “Moocifer” from Australia. We created an alliance called COW (Children of War) and took on COW‑related names. Over time we picked up others too. Some players drifted away, but a few of us stayed. We’re now in STG (Stronger Together).

Longhorn has been with me the longest and always had my back. Where I go, he goes. Where he goes, I go. He’s not only a great deputy, he’s become one of my best friends. Outside of Hannah and the kids, he’s probably the only person I talk to every single day. It’s mostly game related, but not all the time. When my dad died, he was an absolute rock. He took over leadership, gave me a break, and supported me in ways that meant more than he’ll ever realise. I’ve tried to do the same for him.

I don’t ask personal questions. If someone wants to share, great. If not, I don’t push. When we first started playing we asked each other’s names. He knew mine was Martyn and told me to call him PDB, something I still do despite finding out what the P stood for. He’s always been private, and I’ve always respected that, but I’ve picked up other things about him over the years.

He’s an amazing guy. Incredibly loyal. Always covering my back. When emotional overwhelm hits, he’s there. It’s a game, not work, but sometimes the boundaries blur and things stress me out. Never with him though. He understands and accepts me anyway. For someone who struggles with social situations and friendships due to my ASD and how that affects it, the way he is with me is something I hold dear.

[Image 2. A screenshot on Viber between PDB and I. Its in dark mode and says "None of this game 💩 means anything. You can yell and vent at me about it but my ❤️ for you is unflappable." Showing bim love of me.]

Then, after all this time, he decided to come to England and come to see me.

He reached a point in life where he decided it was time. After months of planning, they arrived on Sunday. I was nervous. Meeting someone you’ve known almost as long as your spouse is surreal, especially when you’ve only seen one photo of them a few months earlier.

He didn’t let me down. He was exactly the guy I’ve been speaking to all these years. His partner was just as lovely. We chatted, laughed, and settled into a natural rhythm.

One thing we had to do was play the game together. Thankfully Sunday was our Elite Events day. You’d think we’d chat through it, but we didn’t. We just played. It was perfect. Something I’ll never forget.

We then had dinner together. They’d researched what to eat and where to visit. Fully embracing England. T wanted Shepherd’s Pie. PDB wanted Bangers and Mash. They originally wanted a proper Sunday Roast, but accessibility issues and the reality that no restaurant does a roast properly meant we cooked for them instead. Nothing beats a classic home cooked meal. They chose their desserts too. Eton Mess and Treacle Pudding. Hannah got Sticky Toffee Pudding instead. They swapped food, tried each other’s desserts, and loved it.

[Image 3. I am wearing a red t-shirt and sat in my chair. PDB is kneeling next to me next to me on the right. Getting to height level with me]

[Image 4. From the back, left to right, T, PDB, and Hannab. I am sitting in my chair in front of them]

The day flew by so they suggested coming back in the morning. I woke at 7.30am and saw photos in our WhatsApp group. They’d gone for an early walk, visited the castle grounds, explored Rochester, then Ubered to ours for 9am. They brought breakfast goodies too.

I almost forgot the gifts. They went wild. All four kids had a goody bag with Buck‑ee shirts, snacks, postcards, and Pez. Hannah got the same, plus a pink hoodie, a huge cup with the Texan flower, and a Texan tea towel the kids refuse to use. I got snacks, raspberry and blackberry sweets, a longhorn Texan flag ornament, a long‑sleeved top with NBTX (one of our game team names with a personal touch), a white shirt with another longhorn symbol, a Cowboys cap (his favourite team), and a heavy wooden rabbit because I’m Bigwig. It was incredible. Overwhelming. Kindness that left us speechless.

[Image 5. A longhorn Christmas tree ornament in the Texan Flag colours]

[Image 6. A Bugs Bunny Pez. Connecting to my Game name, Bigwig]

[Image 7. Buck-ees White Fudge]

[Image 8. A carved rabbit. Linking again to my game name]

[Image 9. Hannah’s very large white cup with flowers on the side]

[Image 10. I am wearing a blue Buck-ees top and the white Cowboys Cap. His favourite team]

We gave them chocolates and treats after my aunt mentioned how different the chocolate tastes over there, plus some local fudge and local ciders. It felt small compared to their outpouring of love but they seemed happy.

We chatted a bit about my health. He wanted to know the prognosis. It wasn’t a problem. He could ask me anything about my life and I’d happily answer it, even the heavy topics.

Then they left for London to do the tourist thing.

It was a great visit. Better than I imagined. Easy. Full of laughter, shared stories, and the comfort of meeting someone who already knows you.

I don’t make friends easily. I struggle with social situations. Yet this friendship has lasted seven years across continents, time zones, life changes, grief, and joy. Meeting him in person didn’t break the illusion. He is exactly who he’s always been, and I love him for that.

I’m grateful for him, his partner, the visit, and that something built in a game became something real. I’ll hold onto it for a long time. All we have to do is find ways to do more together.