I last wrote about James in May. As expected, it’s taken three weeks into the school term and I’m writing about him again. That’s not surprising considering the last five posts have mostly centred around his school life.
I ended my last update waiting for the Trust to respond. They never did. I made my viewpoint clear, but the representative didn’t get back to me. Then, just as the term started, they emailed asking how things were. I replied and voiced what I had said before with a small update about James. Again, nothing. I was talking to Hannah about it today. I’ll contact the Trust. It’s ridiculous at this point.
Now on to James.
He ended the school year in a good place. He loves his tutor and they’ve been completing work well. Some days they even finished early. I’m happy he worked hard enough for that to happen, but I didn’t like the earlier finishes. In four years, James has attended three secondary schools, has twice been pulled out due to EBSA and other issues, and has been home educated. Regular readers know I’m a positive home school promoter, but it wasn’t a great experience for him.
I was a primary school teacher. I worked across multiple schools, year groups, needs, and positions. It was ideal when James and Will were little. I was never a secondary teacher. I could teach some subjects, but it wasn’t my thing and wouldn’t have been the best education for them. We tried splitting home schooling between households, but it didn’t work. That’s why he went back into a new school.
By the third school, I’d learned the system. Pulling him out always left the responsibility of education on us. Letting the school reach a point where they had to enact Section 19 was better. They had no choice but to refer James to the council, and the council found relevant education. It’s benefited him, but the calculation around all that time in, out, and receiving substandard education meant James was probably, at best estimate, around a year behind his peers. Even if he’s a clever lad.
So finishing early stung a bit. I kept thinking, “Can he not do more? Fill in the gaps?” The structure doesn’t allow for that. I had to accept it and be grateful he was happy, learning, and having a positive schooling experience.
That changed this term. Kind of.
James still loves his tutor. She’s lovely. The problem is sleep. He’s had one day of tutoring since term started. He isn’t sleeping and often doesn’t fall asleep until 6am. When we wake him at 10am, it’s met with, “No. Cancel today. I’m exhausted” or the more expletive version.
The doctors had prescribed medication. It didn’t work. We tried alternating it to challenge any immunity his body might have built. That didn’t help either.
I get it. I’ve written twice before that I don’t sleep. Sometimes it takes two or three days until I finally sleep. I was given the same medication. It’s worked at times, especially if I alternate it, but recently even that hasn’t been enough. So I fully understand.
There’s a difference though.
I had a horrible week of sleep pain, my body wanting to move in ways it no longer can, emotional whiplash from reality‑shifting dreams, or staying wide awake begging my brain to sleep last week. I reached Friday, went to bed as normal, was yawning and tired, but stayed awake all night. By 6am I had to be up for the Disability Conference. I forced myself to go. I did what was needed because I had to.
That night, I was exhausted. My body wanted to surrender, but Saturday night was still broken. I wanted to stay in bed and recover the sleep I needed, but I was leading the service at church. So I got up and fulfilled my commitments. Last night my body gave in and I slept almost all the way through. I’m still exhausted today, but I’ve carried on.
James needs to do the same. He’s 15. It’s not easy, but the more it happens, the more he misses.
We went back to the doctors on Friday. They can’t do much. He’s still a minor. They upped his medication slightly but think he needs ADHD meds that we’ve waited nine months for. They’ll write to the centre, but we’re caught in the eighteen‑month system.
There’s a positive though. I called today. While waiting in the phone queue as the 101st caller, his medication appointment came through for next Monday. Many thankful prayers were said.
So what happens now?
James and I spoke a couple of times today. I explained what I’ve had to do for my commitments and how he’s got to do the same. We’re also running the risk that the tutor will have to cancel. Not working means not getting paid, and she’ll need a new student. She even asked today whether James wanted to continue. We said yes. He has a good bond with her. He just needs to fight this problem. I’m hoping he can manage until next Monday. Then we’ll see what happens with that appointment.
In the meantime, it’s a battle.
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