Being Lonely

Loneliness is such a strange feeling!



You can be by yourself and feel lonely or you can be in a crowd of people and feel it.

Or, alternatively, you can be happy in your own skin that you are happy wherever you are.

I feel lonely; it's tough on me at times especially with the D.P.D. I know I shouldn't rely on people when you're struggling because some battles you can only go through yourself. Yet there are moments when all you want is someone to talk to you to make you feel less invisible. In those moments it's difficult to describe bit the isolation and silence can be deafening.

With all the negative comments that i've had recently it's difficult not to take the comments on and believe you're lonely because of who you are; as I mentioned in a previous post that sometimes these comments can make you look at your reflection and see yourself differently.

I, as well as others I know, don't do well with rejection because you can't but take it personally at times. Even though you know in the long run that it really isn't you that's at fault.

People don't always understand the impact that they can have on one person; negative comments, failing to show respect or just cutting people out for what is, ultimately, silly reasons.

I personally struggle with this because of the D.P.D as social interaction is a key thing to not making me feel like I'm fully rejected. It makes my mind feel like I'm not important or interested enough to talk to. All of which I know is part of the disorder; that being said I know people without it who struggle with this anyway.

There are days where I don't talk to anyone; I won't get a text or message, tweet or comment on the blog (Even some days not even a view) It's these days that i struggle the most. It's incredibly tough to see others getting support and help and then helping others but you appear invisible or insignificant to the people around you. Despite trying your hardest to reach out to others.

I, individually, try to support people even when I'm feeling at my worst because there is nothing like struggling by yourself. But in doing so I always feel like I'm reaching out to people rather than someone reaching out to me.

I have been overwhelmed in some ways by the support and kind words people do offer, especially since I've been posting my Mental health posts. I have received so many kind words that have made me feel special but at the same time it's always brief and I can, at times, still end up feeling isolated, rejected and lonely.

These days, like today, are tough. But I know tomorrow is another day, a new day, one that might bring a bit of sunshine and happiness; a day where I am happy in my own skin with who I am.

Ultimately, even if I don't see it at the moment, we are all special and deserve to feel like it. There isn't really anything wrong with us; being reserved doesn't mean though that you necessarily want to be left alone.

Find someone to talk to today and let them know they're special.