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Since starting home schooling my son William, I’ve come across the same stereotyping that I’ve faced many times before.
Being active in my children’s lives means I take a deep interest in their wellbeing. I look for support, ideas, and ways to help them grow into good men. When I joined home‑education forums, I expected encouragement. Instead, I found comments that saddened and angered me.
I read posts from mums saying things like:
“Sometimes the biggest battle I’ve had is with their dad who thinks I’m crazy for doing this,”
or
“I’m a single mum — he doesn’t want anything to do with the kids or their education.”
I’ve heard similar things before. As a teacher, I was told, “You’ll never be as good as the mums — you don’t have a maternal instinct.”
As a single dad, I’ve heard friends say to their exes, “You only have to see your kids one weekend a fortnight and you can’t even do that.”
As a single man, I’ve heard, “You have your children half the week? Why aren’t you like normal single dads who see them once a fortnight?” or “We’ll never get any time together — you see your kids too much.”
These comments hurt. I join forums to find ideas and support, not judgment. Yet negative assumptions push dads away. On playgrounds, I’ve had mums whisper about me — as if being a single dad automatically makes me careless or absent. That’s the stereotype.
For me, there’s no such thing as seeing your children too much. They are part of me, and I care deeply. Hearing that some dads don’t show up for their kids is heartbreaking, but that doesn’t mean we’re all the same.
Television shows like Jeremy Kyle reinforce the worst examples. Yes, some men fail their families, but that’s not the whole story. A real man does whatever he can. Despite health challenges, I work, raise my boys, and give my dad company. I’m not measuring myself against absent fathers — I’m simply doing my best and striving to do better.
It’s easier to fall into a category than to stand apart. Isolation is uncomfortable, but conformity hides potential. I’m proud to stand apart from the “typical single dad” image. I know there are thousands of dads like me, quietly doing the same, unseen because they don’t fit the stereotype.
My plea is simple: stop judging. Look beyond assumptions. You might find someone unique, someone trying to do right. This isn’t negativity toward mums — it’s a call for fairness. Being a dad is hard. Being a man is hard. So is being a mum. But to be a man, you must be willing to stand alone when it’s right. For me, being a dad starts with being honest and real. I break stereotypes, and I’m proud of that. There’s no such thing as too much time with your kids.
“He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.” — Clarence Budington Kelland
“A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.” — Author Unknown
“Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad.” — Author Unknown
Stop stereotyping between parents. See beyond. Give a man the chance to define his own category.
2026 Reflection
This post changed everything. It was the first time my writing reached beyond friends and family — the moment other bloggers started reading and sharing my words. Over a thousand people read it, compared to a few hundred before. It opened the door to the blogging world and marked the start of being noticed as a writer. The home‑education posts built the foundation, but Stereotyping was the spark that made me visible. Within a month came Head Lice, Gender Identity, and Are You Silky or Crunchy? — the posts that truly launched my blog. This one was the turning point, the moment my voice found its audience.
4 comments:
Great post, and great to see you fighting the good fight and altering people stereotypical views on single dads or just dads in general.
We need the media to wake up and start showing good role models, the more children see the more they copy.
Couldn't agree more. If good dad's were shown, regularly, then you have more chance of seeing more sons growing up by a leading example. Rather than just assuming that a good Dad is a rare one.
And thank you. I'd always be happy breaking stereotypes and standing alone, if needs be, to prove that I'm a good dad and that there are good dads out there. As yourself and other dad's on the dad network have shown.
Great post.
I think generally, society has different expectations of mothers and fathers. I did a post about it a while back. Quite often mothers are judged on all sorts of levels, and often found falling short if we get drunk every now and then or give our kids chips for tea. On the other hand, fathers often just have to turn up to get a cooing round of "ahh, what a great dad!"
This does nobody any favours. Fathers should be held to the same standards as mothers, and all should want to take an active role in their kids' lives as you do.
When I met my ex, he had 6 children living with him; everyone said what a great father he was to have them live with him when their mother had disappeared. I soon discovered that while everyone thought he was a good father for keeping them with him, he was actually physically and emotionally abusing them on a daily basis. If that had been a mother on her own, people would have been poking their noses in and something might have been done - but because he was a single father, everyone was just impressed he managed to get them dressed and none had any broken bones.
We should all have to prove we're good parents - being a mother doesn't mean I would be a better teacher than you; it's about individual qualities, not gender.
Also, I think the fact you have a blog and write about these things goes some way to proving you must be a good dad - if you didn't care, you wouldn't bother writing about it!
Thanks for your comment. It's interesting to read that. I have only seen some stereotyping of women in the instances you have described. But either way the fact is true that people do stereotype people onto expected groups. Often when in truth they were just doing what we all do.
I have never had the cooing father routine. I have one friend who compliments me but apart from her I have only ever been tarred with the above stereotypes. I wonder if it's individual to your character then? I often have people poking their noses in to what I do and hardly ever praised. It's a shame then that your ex was like that. I do know some single dad's who are rewarded for their fathering but they're also what I would class as charming people in public. Ones who can win people over.
Thank you. This is one reason why I blog, apart from having online documents, I like to show my good and bad points as it's great to get help, support and gratitude despite, like most parents,how tough it is. But you're right I do care and that's why I write. Thanks again for commenting!
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