Friday, 1 May 2015

The 10 Dads in Dad Club

**Disclaimer: This is meant to be a bit silly and fun so please don’t take any offence. In no way am I suggesting that we all fit in stereotypical tick boxes. Or to suggest that one or other is better. I personally hate stereotypes that are placed on dad's and parents and hence why there is irony and sarcasm within this post**

I am part of an exclusive Parenting club that I wanted to share with you: The Dad Club


This is the social club that you will find in many different situations.

Not everyone will be aware of it but there are a few rules to this club, rules that I am currently about to break!

1. You do not talk about Dad Club.
2. You don’t talk about Dad Club.
3. Someone yells stop, you’re approached by a Mum then the club is over.
4. Only two or three Dad’s to a club.
5. One club at a time, fellas.
6. Clubs will go on as long as they have to.
7. If this is your first time at Dad Club, you don’t have to join others.

It isn’t that straight forward as you might think; there isn’t a badge or membership card but if you look close enough you will find them in most places.
There is some distinction with them though:

1. The ‘Good Looking’ Dad
The Good looking Dads are the ones that are usually seen surrounded by some of the Mums. They are usually tall, stylish and will address the others in the Dad Club as “Buddy”.

2. The ‘Well Dressed’ Dad
The well-dressed Dads are the most stylish Dads on the Playground, Nursery or Party. They look smart, well-groomed and are usually sporting designer labels.

 

3. The ‘Mid Life Crisis’ Dad
This Dad desperately wants to be the well-dressed dad but through his rush he is also encountering a midlife crisis. He is fairly easily spotted by the way he dresses; ripped jeans that are slightly hanging on his waist that you can see his pants. He’ll also be sporting some “Relevant” t-shirt and fluorescent trainers despite being in his 40s. But if you are still not sure he will turn up in his car with ‘inappropriate’ loud music.

 
4. The ‘Stay at Home’ Dad
This Dad you will often be seen looking slightly harassed and tired. Who may or may not have food smeared down his front from a rather hectic morning. He can bring different aspects to conversations from ‘manly’ talk like sports to more ‘feminine’ topics such as housework.

5. The ‘Pervy’ Dad
This is the Dad who likes to flirt with the Mum’s despite possibly being married. He makes inappropriate jokes to the Mum’s: “Maybe I should ditch the wife and take you out for Dinner?” or “I know a way to put a smile on your face” *Cringe*

6. The ‘Uncomfortable’ Dad
This is the Dad that doesn’t want to be there; he knows he’s entering the Lion’s Den of Mums and is worried what possible conversations that he might get into. He may have had an opportunity to finish work early and his wife has convinced him to pick their child up. Or worse, in picking their daughter up they are now forced to carry the pink glittery bag for them!

 

7. The ‘Scared’ Dad
This poor Dad is the one who is terrified of the women that he is about to meet, his only option through his panic is to desperately look around for any Dad that he can go and talk to; give him a chance to talk about manly things!

8. The ‘Shy’ Dad
This is the Dad that you will usually find on the outskirts of the crowd. He is usually a loner and won’t go seeking others within the Dad club but he is opposed to others from the Dad club going to talk to him. He will do very little other than smile at people who smile at him.

9. The ‘Single’ Dad
Now this Dad appears in two categories:
1. The Single, Stereotype Dad who likes to wear vests, smokes roll ups and is currently auditioning for the next Jeremy Kyle show. You might hear him say “innit nice today, it was well ruff yesterday do u feel me” or excessive use of the word “Mate”
2. The one who breaks the obvious stereotype; dresses nicely, greets his children with a smile and takes a vested interest in their child’s life. But sadly he often gets mistaken for the stereotypical single dad in type one.

Finally,
10. The ‘Sweet’ Dad
This is the Dad that all mums just take a look and go “aww” at. He will pick his child up and give them a cuddle after they have run straight to them. He will ask how their day has been and do so with genuine care in his voice. Ultimately oozes with love that all the Mum’s who see him want to go and shake his hand.

 
Now you may see these Dads separately or in small groups within different situations. It can be rare to see more than 3 at one time unless you are looking at a larger gathering like BBQ’s or Family Parties.
Some may fit into different categories; I, for example, am a mix of numbers 4, 8 and 9:2. I would love to be 1, 2 and 10.

I was also suggested 'Sporty Dad' and 'Competitive Dad', do you think of any others?

So what kind of Dad category do you fit in to?
Do you see any of these Dads in your day to day routine?


 
The Dad Network

65 comments:

Al Ferguson said...

Which am I? Great post! I enjoyed this one :)

alan herbert said...

Brilliant. I'm like you and fit a few Dad's and have others I'd want to be. Think I'm close enough to list 10 as one of them.

Unexpectant Mother said...

I prefer to call number 1s 'the hot dad', or DILF, if you will! Haha! ;-)

Unexpectant Mother said...

Ps if you reverse the gender this comment clearly makes me the pervy mum...

Dan @DBTHSocialPR said...

I imagine I am a 1 or a 2 - In the real world outside of my imagination I'm more like a mix of 3, 6 and 8..

Great post Mart!

Brian Scott said...

I guess I'd be 4, 8, & 10. Lol. Although, I too would like to be 1, 2, & 10!
Good post, buddy!

Sarah Howe - Run Jump Scrap said...

I think my hubby is the sweet dad! Oh barf! haha. I enjoyed this one xx

Ashley Beolens said...

Excellent stuff, very funny.

I fit in 8 and 10 (I think) I hate chatting with people in the playground (except my kids).

Unexpectant Mother said...

My OH is totally that dad too. Though in his head the "awws" are "phwoars" haha x

Martyn Kitney said...

Definitely number 1 or 10 :) glad you enjoyed it!

Martyn Kitney said...

Thanks Alan! Glad you're number 10 :)

Martyn Kitney said...

Haha! I might change it just for you! You know that from now on ill be calling you a pervert all the time ;)

Martyn Kitney said...

Thanks Dan! Glad you liked it! Haha I'm the same I like to think I'm 1, 2 and 10 lol but it's not the reality lol

Martyn Kitney said...

Thanks Brian! We're exactly the same lol definitely would love to be the others though!

Martyn Kitney said...

Haha! It's ok. Glad hubby is the sweet dad. I'd love to be home!

Haha Natalie....If only that was the case!

Martyn Kitney said...

Thanks Ashley! I'm definitely 8 I find it difficult to do teh chatty thing! It's just not me lol

Anonymous said...

I'm definitely 8 with (hopefully) a bot of 10 thrown in!

alan herbert said...

Well if I'm being honest I'm more of an 8. But like to think the "Mums" are saying I'm a 10 as i walk kids to the car.

Mama, My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows said...

The 'Cool Dude' dad who used to be a musician etc. We've a few of those in our circle.

Great post!

#bigfatlinky

Luke Strickland said...

Funny post! Obviously I'm aiming for being number ten...

Cuddle Fairy said...

I SO enjoyed this post! You really hit the nail on the head in terms of the different dads. I love how you add their interactions with the moms in. Too funny! #BigFatLinky

Ali said...

I was mentally working out who fitted into each 'dad' including the Hubster. We have a 'sexy domesticated dad' at our school gates! (although I suspect he has a dark side) Ali @ Mum in a Nutshell popping over from the #bigfatlinky

Mummascribbles said...

Great post - I'd say my other half is a number 10 cause when I watch him with Zach I just think aaaaaaah :) #bigfatlinky

Penny Pincher (Dawn) said...

Oh I love this Martyn and I think your descriptions of each type of dad is spot on; so funny, it's brilliant! x

Alexandra Hurton said...

This is great! I know a few people who fit those roles! #BigFatLinky

Mummy Fever said...

My man is a mix of the sweet dad and the sporty dad, although he wouldn't admit to the first. He also fits in the 'haven't got a clue dad' category as well lol #bigfatlinky

Dohigh Dawn of the Dad said...

Lol! I'm glad you put the disclaimer in.

I think we can all identity, to some degree, with each of your roles.

Of course, we're all 1, 2, & 10 if anyone should ask ;)

Anonymous said...

I have no idea where I sfir into this...a mix of all of them apart from pervy dad, who, frankly, makes me want to vomit! Great post. I'm now off to talk about Dad CLub #BigFatLinky JOhn Adams, dadbloguk

Helena Clarke said...

I am definitely the mum equivalent of number 3! Loud inappropriate music blaring from the car is my trademark (and the kids hate it!). Ohps!!
#bigfatlinky

International Elf Service said...

This is so cool - I wonder which one I am - even though I'm not a Dad...I presume this list is 100% transferrable to Mums too?

Martyn Kitney said...

Me too Tim. And with the hope of 10.

Martyn Kitney said...

Ooo forgot about the cool dad thanks for commenting

Martyn Kitney said...

Thanks Luke. I'd like to think we're all aiming for 10

Martyn Kitney said...

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it! It's so true when you see the different ones about lol

Martyn Kitney said...

Thanks Ali. Ha good that you were mentally trying to work out who was who. Ooo sex domesticated dad....does he need a category of his own?

Martyn Kitney said...

Thanks Lisa. Aw bless him...I'm sure he is a 10.

Martyn Kitney said...

Thanks Dawn. Glad you liked it! I'd like to think being number 8 that ive had a good position to see all the different types.

Martyn Kitney said...

Thanks for reading Alexandra. Am glad you liked it.

Martyn Kitney said...

Haha haven't got a clue dad. I think that should be a category of its own. Thanks for commenting

Martyn Kitney said...

Lol I felt I needed to before I got told I was stereotyping people lol
Haha yes of course we all are

Martyn Kitney said...

Haha I think we all are a mix....and probably why I put the disclaimer in lol I think we all even have part of perv dad even though we don't admit to it ;)

Martyn Kitney said...

Hahaha yes I am sure you can be the female equivalent. Bet you're quite embarrassing lol

Martyn Kitney said...

Erm....I don't know. I'd assume yes that it could be. Maybe you should do a mum one!

Sunshine Dad said...

This was so brilliant! I laughed all the way through. I'm so obviously 1, 2, 4 & 10. I'm not sure why you didn't put my picture below each of those. haha.

Great post, I was sad when it ended, very enjoyable read. #BigFatLinky

Rachael Robinson said...

This is brilliant! I would have to agree with Unexpectant Mother on the DILF part. Although I just said to my OH, "Oh , you're definitely a DILF!" to which he responded, "What, what do you mean? Have I done something wrong?" I think OH is the shy dad. Ray xx #bigfatlinky

Jeremy Barnes said...

somewhere along the line I turned into the sweet dad, but I'm still not sure how that happened

Jade Wilson said...

These are hilarious and to think, I know at least one of every type! There should definitely be a list like this of mums.. #bigfatlinky x

Odd Socks and Lollipops said...

Hehe great post, and such a laugh to read, I am going to have to keep an eye out to see which types I can spot hehe

Martyn Kitney said...

Thanks Mike! Haha! I did consider that but didn't know if I should use photos from your blog or my private ones! ;)

Martyn Kitney said...

Haha! You're poor other half that he's got to the point to think that a dilf is him in trouble! And that's probably because he's the shy dad! I'm with him on that one!

Martyn Kitney said...

Haha if you ever realise can you tell me!

Martyn Kitney said...

Thanks Jade! I think maybe you should do a mums list! Do you even know a perv dad?

Martyn Kitney said...

Thanks I bet you'll spot them everywhere now!

Laura Powell-Corbett said...

Haha this made me laugh! I met a couple of perv dads, worryingly it was when I was 18. Yuck. x

Random Musings said...

This is brilliant, really me made laugh!
Thank you for hosting the #bigfatlinky
Debbie
www.myrandommusings.blogspot.com

Jenny said...

Excellent! I think my husband is a mix of scared and shy dad! I've only once managed to convince him to come into our toddler group! :)

Martyn Kitney said...

Oh no! Perv dad's are the worst! And even worse that you were so young! :/

Martyn Kitney said...

No problem. Glad you enjoyed it!

Martyn Kitney said...

Haha bless him! I'm with him on the shy dad part! Totally! Thanks for commenting.

Wander Mum said...

I like this Martyn...I'm trying to figure out where my hubby fits. Bit of a combination I think and definitely a 2 and a 10. #bigfatlinky

Martyn Kitney said...

Thanks! Aw well at least he fits with the nice ones!

Joanna @mumbalance said...

You must be a very observant person! I don't think I could name half the categories you came up with :)
#BigFatLinky

Eilidh Gallagher said...

Haha I love this post. I'm going to ask James which one he thinks he is x

Martyn Kitney said...

Ha it's because I'm the shy one who stands at the side watching people lol

Martyn Kitney said...

Thanks for commenting. Glad you like it! Cool would like to know which one James is!