Before I was a parent I had a great social life but in comparison
to now it is non-existent; Facebook has made me realise this recently.
The boys Mum and I had a little circle of friends each and
we often found ourselves doing something. Now, don’t get me wrong, we were far
from the social butterflies that many people are but we were still offered to
go out.Firstly, we became parents; up until these last few months we were the only people within our social circles who were parents. This made it extremely difficult to hold on to many of the relationships that we had built up:
“Want to come out and drink until we don’t remember our
names?”
“No, sorry, we can’t we will have to get up early and have
responsibilities”
Secondly, we separated and got divorced; many of our friends
were part of couples and our separation made things difficult.
This then had the added factor of the “sides” that people took; it happens and
it was bound to happen to us.
So by the age of 30 I had lost many of the friendships that I
had built up and although some were loyal and stuck around they were few and far
between.
I then had my nervous breakdown and this, obviously, took its
toll on some of the remaining friendships. Mental health still has that
negative stigma attached to it and some people struggle with it and, sadly, find it is easier to avoid than talk about it; this is especially true if you
are a man.
Realistically I have a handful of friends that I speak to
let alone spend time with. I may joke on social media that I am a hermit but there
lies a lot more truth.
Social media showed this decline through its interactions
and what was Social media became far from social.
Since I started openly blogging my amount of friend’s has
increased from 150 to around 240; this is great and I love that many of you
have spoken to me on Twitter or have read this blog and have subsequently
wanted to add me.
Yet, there is a massive difference visually to my Facebook
activity.
Prior to blogging, and with my 150 friends, I would post
something and get 1 or 2 likes and that would be it, despite my active use of
social media and others I shared it with.
Blogging has changed this completely and it is only because
of the “Facebook memories” that I have noticed.
Before
(Note the 8 comments were actually one person and I having a conversation before FB changed and made replies)
Now
Is it then down to the fact that we, as bloggers, have a
greater understanding of social media and how to react? Or is it because we are
in the blogging “club” so understand the more exciting things that can happen
for us?
Recently I have had some exciting events to share; I was able
to share that I am a Dad writer for Salisbury Parenting and that I had made the
shortlist finalists for the MAD Awards. In these situations my post were getting a lovely response from many people I would call my friends but in reality I have never met any of the people and it’s “just” online relationships.
The same has happened this week when I have asked for help
with the Boys Home Ed topic of rivers, streams and beaches; one photo up and
people are liking, commenting and sharing.
However, in each of these scenarios it is bloggers doing the work. I
actually sat and worked out the above and only 2% of the interactions are from
people that I have known prior to blogging; my immediate family members don't even like or comment.
I am not sure if this is a reinforcement of what my
friendships are like due to the circumstances mention at the beginning or if my
real life friends don’t care about what happens in mine and the boy’s life?
There may be the added factor that I am a parent blogger so my friends are
parent bloggers and this produces more people that are genuinely interested in
the parenting side of my life than maybe the others are?
I am extremely thankful for all my blogging friends on there
because I think without them I’m sure my Facebook would be very dull. I also know that I have met some of my closest friends through blogging
so I have that benefit too; which I know others have found the same.
How do others find Facebook interactions?
Do you still have
a social life within social media that is outside of blogging?
Or is it full of
other bloggers?
No comments:
Post a Comment